I don’t think people get bent out of shape simply from a professional athlete complaining about life to the media. Actually, lots of fans out there can appreciate the humanity of it all, provided that the athlete in question is qualified to speak for his team. But what really chaps my ass is when a guy runs his mouth during the week and...

Honestly, a police car’s dash-cam catching video of a cat crawling up a cop’s leg and sitting on his head while he writes a ticket would be enough to make my day. But what makes this so much better is that it’s a news report about a cat crawling up a cop’s leg and sitting on his head while he writes a ticket. Watch as the...

(”Take me, you greasy ethnic beast!  Of course, if anyone finds out I’ll have to say it was rape.”) Did anyone here think Twilight Saga: New Moon was going to be good?  Of course not.  The best thing you could say was that there’s less Cam Gigandet in this one.  But realistic expectations aren’t the point, the...

“Alright men! We’ve got a good little gadget here for the goalline. Garrett, you’re gonna fake the handoff to the tailback, then toss the ball over your head like a big sissy. Joel, when everyone else is playing the run, you’re gonna catch that big Nancy pass and squeeze that with all your might. Hold onto it like...

After Joss Whedon posted on Whedonesque a couple weeks ago that he wanted to buy the up-for-grabs Terminator franchise, you might think he’d be the Whedon writing an upcoming Dark Horse Terminator miniseries. But, nope, it’s younger brother Zack Whedon, who’s got the gig. If you’re not familiar with the littlest Whedon,...

THIS FACKIN GREEK FAKE-HISPANIC BITCH IS RAWPONSIBLE FAH ALL OW-AH SAWFFERING! That’s right, everybody. Put down all the statistical analyses proving that Belichick did actually make the correct decision by trying to convert the 4th and 2. Turns out, the Patriots were fated to lose anyway, because Access Hollywood host and Boston native...

When Conan O’Brien finally took the reigns of “The Tonight Show” this spring, many longtime fans couldn’t help but notice that he seemed uncomfortable toning down the gleefully unhinged humor that made his “Late Night” such a success. Gone were the joys of the Masturbating Bear and Vomiting Kermit the Frog and...

After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Bitch Slap, but to be honest, I’m giving you the best parts with these screencaps.  It seems to be a movie about tits, but apparently these tits went to college and got all uppity or something (that’s why I only date dropouts). BITCH SLAP is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to...

Two things I hate to see: Irishmen getting upset and the French getting something they didn’t earn. Yesterday in World Cup qualifying, both events occured. With France playing Ireland for the right to advance to the world cup, the whole thing went to pot in the 105th minute. In extra time, the French scored a crucial goal that sent them on...

“Modern Family” star Sofia Vergara went on “The View,” where the weirdos and old bats expressed amazement that the 37-year-old could be so scorchingly hot (my words, not theirs) and still have an 18-year-old son. But people have gotten their knickers in a twist about this exchange in which Vergara made a casual joke about...

NatGeo recently reported that the ice-covered oceans of Europa contain 100 times more oxygen than prior models predicted, meaning the satellite can sustain more complex life-forms than previously thought: That amount of oxygen would be enough to support more than just microscopic life-forms: At least three million tons of fishlike creatures could...