NBC’s The Cape is 5 episodes into its first season and I can tell none of you have been watching it. I get it, really. You were probably still winding down from the turmoil of Christmas and the New Year when The Cape premiered, and by the time your brain even started putting together the past few days of shame, broken promises and projectile vomit, the regular shows came back on the air. Why would you devote your time to a series about a guy in a magic curtain drape or something, when Bones and House are back and the prequel series to Spartacus has started? Read the rest of this entry »

Old timey wartime posters were all about one thing: hilarious racism. But also, stuff like strength, courage, and coming together in a time of great adversity. And who best represents those qualities? Certainly not the women, what with their curling irons and periods, so it’s only natural that past pieces of propaganda included mostly men. Lots and lots of men doing lots of manly things. Often without a shirt on. Yeah, you can already see how there would be room in there for unintentional homosexuality. And while there’s certainly nothing amusing about gay people themselves, consider that the following posters came out in a time when being gay could have gotten you arrested in the UK. Let’s take a look at some of them: Read the rest of this entry »

I have some bad news for you. Studies show that over 34% of Americans believe in UFOs. You know what that means, right? It means aliens might be real. More than 100 million people simply cannot be wrong because, well… then the world would stop making sense if you consider that these nutjobs have the same voting privileges as you do. Yeah, for the sake of our sanities let’s assume that there is something to this whole UFO business, and subsequently Alien Abductions. Oh, it’s easy to laugh at the idea (like… so, so, sooo easy) but I bet that somewhere on your hard-drives most of you have a zombie apocalypse survival plan, so why not an alien abduction one? That’s what I thought. So, if you ever get beamed up into an alien ship and hope to make it back alive without being probed, here’s what you gotta do:

1. Make Sure What Kind of Aliens Are These

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DISCLAIMER ALL UP IN THIS B****: Because the following art has been found randomly on the internet we cannot at this time give proper credit to the amazing and undoubtedly stunningly sexy artists who created all of it. If however you DO know their names or webpages please share them in the comment section and we will credit these fine people so hard their grandchildren will go through life with an unexplainable feeling of pride. We have nothing but respect for the talented folks behind these pictures and want nothing more than to have their babies give credit where credit is due.

In the deepest, darkest corners of the internet called 4chan where chaos reigns free and horse porn is the only recognized form of currency you can always stumble upon tons of a little thing called Alt Art. They are fan depictions of popular characters in new and exciting settings, often crossing over to other franchises, like a Smurf Batman, or a gritty reimagining of Big Bird as a smack-addicted male prostitute. Those are just a couple of (awesome) examples we made up on the spot without thinking (which will probably worry the company shrink when we see him next week) but the Alt Art that really does exist out there is often even more kickass and creative than anything you could imagine, at least while sober. Examples:

10. Ed, Edd & Eddy

CREATED BY: 2WinGs2ZioN, an aspiring 2D animator with a possible crush on Ben Affleck.

The story this picture tells us: After another one of the boys’ get rich quick schemes goes horribly wrong and leaves two children dead (let’s say Jimmy and Kevin, who die after ingesting a frankly insane amount of rat poison) the three Eds are sent to Juvenile Hall from where they emerge… changed. No more the pushovers they once were, Ed, Edd and Eddy return and quickly take over the old neighborhood where they extort and harass their way into riches and (fearful) respect. Later Ed dies of a heroin overdose and Eddy rapes Nazz. Read the rest of this entry »

Out of freaking nowhere, September is here once again. If you’re one of the lucky ones who are already done with school September should be just another month in your life when you accomplish nothing. However, thanks to the illegal key-logging Trojan you all got from accessing the main page, I know that many of our readers are actually still in high school and that, same as I did in the past, they dread the beginning of the school year. Well kiddos, no need to worry, because I am here with a guide that will help you survive the upcoming 10 months. The secret? Think of HS as if it were a prison.

Shouldn’t be too hard.

Right? When you were in elementary school the people around you were happier, friendlier and generally more human like. College/uni will basically be more of the same. But high school? It’s a surreal place governed by its own inhumane rules where nothing you do has any real value in the outside world and where the only sane thing to do is keep quiet and count the days till your release. So yeah, it’s basically prison without all the forced sex. That is why, for the purpose of this guide, I actually turned to a former inmate and my neighbor, who we will call Mister S (I am totally serious btw). Now, Mr. S has spent 5 years total at the Wadowice Correctional Facility in southern Poland for (repeated) assault and robbery, so naturally he’s the best possible authority on teenagers that I could find. Together, we came up with the following advice: Read the rest of this entry »