About The Author
Danger Guerrero

Here Is A Video Of A Dog Dancing To ‘Mambo #5′

05.17.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

It’s Friday afternoon and there’s not a hell of a lot happening, so instead of, like, trying to think up an original angle on something related to TV or pop culture that happened in the past week and crafting a thoughtful essay about it, I took this GIF of a dog doing a little dance up against a glass door, copied and pasted it something like 100 times, and set it to the song “Mambo #5.” Eat your heart out, Mambo Dog.

Anyway, this is probably the best thing I’ve done since that time I did the same thing with a GIF of Joe Biden and the song “Return of the Mack.” The lesson here is that words are stupid and Joe Biden and dancing dogs are great.

Have a nice afternoon.

Read the rest of this entry »

  5 Comments TAGS: , ,

Bill Hader Says There Will Never Be A Stefon Movie

05.17.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

One of the reasons Bill Hader’s Stefon character is so great is because he hasn’t been stretched paper-thin and rammed down the audience’s throat. He pops up three or four times a season, max, for a couple minutes at a time, and absolutely slays. Contrast that with, say, “The Californians,” which was really funny the first time it aired, and now feels like a six-minute anchor dragging the show to the bottom of the sea every time the opening guitar riff plays. No, Stefon is an assassin. He shows up. He kills quickly. He disappears.

And according to an interview Bill Hader did for GQ’s comedy issue, it looks like it’s going to stay that way, as the departing SNL cast member says he has no plans to ever do a Stefon movie.

There’s no emotional through line. Sometimes people say to me “I want a Stefon movie” and I’m like, you think you want a Stefon movie but then you’ll see the poster for it and think: “Wait, I don’t want this.”

This is an excellent point. It’s like saying “You know what I love? Milkshakes. I wish I had a five gallon milkshake. I would drink the whole thing right now,” and having a genie overhear you and POOF! now you’ve got a five gallon milkshake in front of you. Except you didn’t really want that. You just like milkshakes so much because you get a medium one like once a month when you’re really craving it, and milkshakes are basically the most delicious and best things possible. But even though you love them, if you try to finish the super-sized vat of flavored dairy products sitting in front of you, you will end up very, very sick.

The point is that I like milkshakes.

  15 Comments TAGS: , ,

REMINDER: Will Ferrell Once Went On ‘Late Night With Conan O’Brien’ In Character As Robert Goulet

05.17.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

Please consider this post your periodic reminder that Will Ferrell once appeared on Late Night with Conan O’Brien in character as Robert Goulet, cigarette in hand, drinking a Diablo Martini, and spent his whole interview calling Conan “Johnny” and insisting he was in Burbank, California. It was insane and strange and hilarious. I like to imagine the real Goulet sitting at home in Las Vegas that night, flipping through the channels while smoking a cigarette and drinking a martini himself, and stumbling across this as it was happening live. I bet he thought it was groovy.

Anyway, here is my favorite part of this clip: That’s not post-Anchorman, post-Talladega Nights, eff-you-money-having Will Ferrell. That’s SNL cast member Will Ferrell, who chose to spend an entire interview segment on a nationally televised late-night talk show doing a goofy caricature of a famous crooner, instead of going on as himself to plug his career or whatever. I always liked that.

Dig it.

Read the rest of this entry »

  18 Comments TAGS: , ,

Nick Offerman’s ‘Rainbow Song’ Is A Loving, Potty-Mouthed Tribute To His Wife, Megan Mullally

05.16.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

Nick Offerman appeared on Leno last night with a thick mountain man beard and an acoustic guitar and sang “Rainbow Song,” a sweet, loving tribute to his wife that featured lyrics about blow jobs and butt sex and cooking smack. If there was any doubt remaining that he is a great American who deserves a statue or a holiday or a gift certificate to IHOP (and, really, between his work as Ron Swanson and his verse on his wife’s cover of “Smell Yo Dick,” there shouldn’t be), I feel confident in saying it has been erased.

This song also brings up another point, which is that Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally appear to have a very cool marriage. I don’t know them personally, so for all I know they scream and shout at each other 24/7 whenever there’s not a camera pointed at one of them, but there’s something refreshing about a couple who has no qualms about going on national television and singing funny songs about the filthy sex things they do to each other. But I suppose I’m just a romantic.

Read the rest of this entry »

  21 Comments TAGS: , ,

USA Network Orders Two Comedies, ‘Happy Endings’ Pick-Up Looks Unlikely

05.16.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

USA Network has ordered two new original comedies, one produced by Denis Leary and one from former Best Friends Forever team Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham, neither of which are titled Happy Endings and focus on a group of wise-cracking friends who get up to all sorts of delightful and zany shenanigans in the Chicago metropolitan area. I checked and everything. Turns out the one from Leary is called Sirens and is about three goofball Chicago EMTs, and the one from St. Clair and Parham gets a full blockquote because Jessica St. Clair’s work as Marissa Wompler on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast is groundbreaking and important.

Read the rest of this entry »

  39 Comments TAGS: , ,

Australian Morning Show Host Pulls The ‘Anchorman’ Teleprompter Prank On His Co-Host

05.16.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

Here is a clip of Australian morning show host Karl Stefanovic — who is awesome — using the Anchorman teleprompter prank to trick his co-host, Roz Kelly, into professing her love for hash cookies. So simple, and yet so perfect.

You know, it’s a good thing I don’t work at a news station. I would try this just about every day, to the point that it would get incredibly old not only for my co-workers, but also for the viewers, and it would send our ratings tumbling into a bottomless pit of despair. It would get so bad that the station’s parent company would be forced to declare bankruptcy and lay off thousands of people. Then those newly unemployed individuals would be unable to make their mortgage payments, which would lead to another collapse of the housing market and a sustained period of economic hardship for the whole nation as stock prices drop to never-before-seen lows. Eventually we would all be forced to revert to hunting and gathering to sustain ourselves, and those who are unable to adapt to this rugged way of life would be burned for fuel. Chaos would be the new law of the land, and Ted Nugent would be king.

Or they would just, like, fire me.

Read the rest of this entry »

  10 Comments TAGS: , ,

What’s On Tonight: The ‘Arrow’ Finale (And Other Finales)

05.15.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

Arrow (CW, 8 p.m.) – Season finale. Arrow ends its first season tonight. One of the characters on this show is named Dark Archer. The character is not Sterling Archer’s evil twin. This is a shame, because the version of Archer we already know is so depraved that the concept of one that is evil to such a degree that he must be called “Dark” Archer is terrifying in the best possible way. (Gamma Squad has your live blog tonight.)

Supernatural (CW, 9 p.m.) – Season finale. According to the summary of tonight’s episode, the Winchester brothers try one final play against the Demon King. So there’s that.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 10 p.m.) – Season finale. This show is still on the air. Ted Danson is on it now. Twenty years from now it will star the tall guy from Big Bang Theory. It will outlive us all.

Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.) – Phil gets an RV. Not a good idea, buddy. Bad things happen in RVs.

Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9 p.m.) – From TV Guide: “The detectives try to identify an unconscious woman found in a river near the mayor’s home, and through their investigation they discover that she’s an ordinary mom with a hidden wild side.” SVU CHECKLIST TIME: Dead woman: Check. Secret slut: Check. Powerful male suspect: Check. Yes, this is a very SVU episode of SVU.

Psych (USA, 10 p.m.) – Shawn and Gus go undercover at a radio station and end up on-air. This is basically my dream.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jason and Jarron Collins, J.J. Abrams, and Huey Lewis and the News are on Kimmel; Ed Helms and Hoda Kotb on Letterman; Ice-T and Paula Poundstone on Ferguson; Usher and Nick Offerman on Leno; Julie Bowen and Demi Lovato on Fallon; and Zach Galifiankis and Jim Gaffigan on Coman.

  11 Comments TAGS: , ,

Watch The ‘Simpsons’ Couch Gag That Was Produced By The ‘Robot Chicken’ Team

05.15.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

Here’s the couch gag for this week’s episode of The Simpsons. It was produced by the team from Adult Swim’s Robot Chicken, and it features a stop-motion version of Homer racing all over Springfield, turning into a doughnut, and murdering a bunch of people. Is it the greatest guest-made opening in the show’s history? No, that would be the dark as hell one Banksy did a few years ago. Hell, it’s not even the best couch gag from this season, thanks to the excellent Breaking Bad-inspired one that aired back in April. But it’s still pretty cool, and it’s a fun way to try to keep things on the show fresh after 20+ years and 500+ episodes, and, seriously, as I’ve been saying for years, there are not nearly enough characters on television magically turning into breakfast pastries and killing their employer in the street like a dog nowadays.

So, you know, I’ll give them that, if nothing else.

Read the rest of this entry »

  9 Comments TAGS: ,

The Entire Final Season Of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ Will Take Place During The Wedding Weekend

05.15.13 Written by Danger Guerrero

After eight seasons filled with so many red herrings that even Veena Sud probably hucked her remote at the television and screamed “JESUS CHRIST. ENOUGH” at some point, we finally met the titular matriarch of the Mosby family during Monday’s season finale of How I Met Your Mother. And now that we have that information, all that’s left is Barney and Robin’s wedding. Literally, all that’s left.

Series cocreator Carter Bays previously revealed that as HIMYM unspools its ninth and final season, viewers will become “much better” acquainted with Cristin Milioti’s bass-playing cutie – whom we first and briefly laid eyes on at the close of the Season 8 finale — as the show tells “the epic story of the longest wedding weekend ever.”

CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler has now confirmed for TVLine that Season 9′s entire run will, in fact, span the wedding weekend and just the wedding weekend, as the comedy details “how each character, before Ted, meets the mother. So, they each meet her independently before he does.” [TV Line]

I give the producers of How I Met Your Mother all the credit in the world for coming up with what appears to be a very creative and ambitious idea for the final season of their show, but unless Jack Bauer kicks down the door of the church, pulls a gun on one of Robin’s relatives, and demands information about a vial of nerve gas that was recently “stolen” from the chemical company he works at, I don’t know if I’m sold on stretching an entire season over such a short period of time. I guess we’ll see.

(That idea is a freebie, BTW.)

  38 Comments TAGS: , ,

Sign Up

Follow Us