A firm handshake to all the other guest editors who appeared over the past week, and apologies to the commenters whose terrible television viewing habits I steadfastly refused to validate. Your real dad returns tomorrow, hopefully with Lobster Dog in tow.
8:00, Fox – The All-Star Game. There are upwards of 80 All-Stars this year. In order to make sure each able player makes an appearance, the league has instituted an extra defensive position that requires standing directly on top of the plate at all times. This is a terrible idea!
9:00, ABC – Downfall. Watch this show with your friends. Every three minutes or so, grin, shake your head, and say things like, “Oh brother… what is America coming to?” and “Sure sign of the apocalypse…”. Your friends will laud you for your unique insight into such matters, and may even ask you what you think about Britney Spears.
10:30, Comedy Central (repeat) – South Park’s “Margaritaville” episode. It’s not the best episode in recent South Park history, but it’s close.
11:00, FX - Louie. Hopefully this episode is as good as the last one, which, of course, was the most beautiful, indispensable masterwork that we as a species have ever produced.