"I bet you guys never would've guessed that my owner would be a fat white lady. Haha, I know, I know, I was as surprised as you are."
For most people, the benefit of owning a dog is the love, the mutual affection, the help living in the moment, the unconditional companionship. And to those people I say, “Hey, nice dog, grandpa. Who groomed that thing for you, Fred Flintstone?“ (*AIR GUITAR*)
No, today we’re here to talk about dogs with EXTREME STYLES to match their IN YA FACE RADITUDE. Because some dogs fetch, some chase squirrels, and some scooch their butts around on the carpet. But only dogs with EXTREME GROOMING can MAKE A STATEMENT.
DOUBLE PITS TO HOT TUB TIME MACHINE!
We’re going to start with the more old-school Extreme Dog Grooms. They’re not as fancy, took less money, have simple themes, and required fewer props than some of the competition-groomed dogs. But there’s an indie-dog grooming movement that’s really taking off, which sees them as the more pure, more punk-rock stream of the extreme dog grooming genre, before it got co-opted by the media and got all corporate.
It's not the best I've seen, but pretty impressive considering what they had to work with. Touché, 3rd world kids, touché. For this I shall deign to buy your parents' trinkets after I negotiate them down to half price.
Leopard Dog is no frills, but he understands that at the core of the Extreme Dog Grooming movement is a dog made to look like another animal. Everything else is just fluff.
Lion Dog is simple, but he rocks so hard. He's like the White Stripes of Extreme Dog Grooming.
I thought Sad Panda Pup was pretty cool, until Panda Chow came along and stole his thunder
MUST... CUDDLE... PANDA CHOW...
Skunk Dog tries to hump the cat and barks een a Fronch accent.
Tiger Dog is pretty f*cking high on himself for a dog that barely looks like a f*cking tiger. Assh*le.
"HURRR, my owner owns a Sharpie."
A zebra with blue stripes? That's just stupid. And did someone pee on its side? This just makes me sad. Was that your goal, bush-league dog groomer guy? To make people sad? Well mission accomplished.
That's a nice cow dog. But a bell? That's a prop. I dunno, bro, people are saying you've sold out.
And now, folks, it’s time for the pure breeds, the XXTREEEEME dog groomers for whom excess is its own reward, to whom restraint is a sh*t stain in a hobo diaper. So here they are, the most XXTREEEEME DOG STYLES for the most RADICAL DOGS ever created. KICK FLIP TO OLLIE TO PARKOUR SLIDE.
Here we see the proud American buffalo poodle in its natural habitat: in front of a greenscreen. An even sadder picture shows frontier men standing on enormous piles of buffalo poodle skulls after it was nearly eradicated by sport hunting in the late 1990s.
Scientists say Camel Poodle can go almost two weeks between crotch sniffs.
"If I have to see her belly dance for me one more time, I will eat all the rat poison in the house and wash it down with blue toilet water, I swear to f*cking God."
"My owner uses my poop to grow hallucinogenic mushrooms."
The dog's legs are blue because they're part of the water that the baby duck is floating in. Bet you feel pretty stupid for asking that now, huh, dumbass.
"As you can see, I've been groomed to look like a Clydesdale, while my owner is dressed as 'lesbian stereotype.'"
"Dear Lord, please turn me into a Dragon Poodle with wings, so I can fly far, far from here."
"Did somebody say 'Dragon fly'? I hate my life."
"My owner blows guys for fake gold at Ren Faires. True story."
Freedom isn't free.
"I used to tour with The Cure."
"Wait, what's my motivation here? Am I supposed to be, a flower bed? I'm playing a f*ckin flower bed? My agent is so fired."
"I want to eat some Acacia leaves. Not to get into character, because they're poisonous."
"I wish I actually was a fish so that when she dyed me to look like another animal I could forget it in five seconds."
"Hey, get this Asian chick off me, you know she's just gonna crash me into a tree."
"As you can see, my ass is a horse, and behind me, a horse's ass."
"If anyone tries to ride me, I will sh*t right here on this floor, I swear."
"Am I supposed to be Legally Blonde? Jackie O? You know what, I don't care, just someone please shoot me."
"I come from the future. It's... really, really gay there. Oh, and my name is Sam, in case you didn't catch that."
"Yup, she spent 12 hours turning me into a f*cking ninja turtle, then herself showed up in public wearing novelty OR scrubs. Can you call Dog Protective Services? Bitch is 5150 for sure."
"Is that the door over there? Good, I'm f*cking leaving."
"Arf, arf, I'm a peacock. F*ck you."
"Oh right, because no one would've understood it without the feathers."
"Great, thanks for the forehead feather. NOW I feel like a douchebag."
"The pink fish on my body really brings out how much I wish she was dead"
"Next time give me a real gun as a prop, I f*cking dare you."
"Hut, hut, help me kill myself."
"Gobble gobble God I hate you."
"Why is there a zebra on my ass and yet I have a lion mane? Because my owner is an assh*le, that's why."
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Thanks for declaring open season on white people jokes.
The Insane Clown Posse is not impressed with giraffe dog. His neck is not long-ass enough to be miraculous.
Where the fuck is PETA when you really need them?
Competitive dog groomers are the new crazy cat ladies.
But OMG, PANDA DOGS, SO CUUUUUTE!
@UU: Killing animals.
Burnsy: OH SNAP (a cat’s neck, if you work at PETA headquarters).
Watch out, y’all. PETA might say mean, childish things about you in a press release.
Nobody had the stones to groom a gorilla dog, because those motherfuckers will rip your face off.
What about decorating animals, satar? Do any of them do that?
I like how they’ve even taught the spam bots to say “Yeah, who cares?” now. FUCK YOU, SPAM BOTS, THIS SHIT IS IMPORTANT!
I hope they tested that hair dye on animals before they put it on animals.
I’m gonna shoot my dog and dress it as JFK.
I’m a little disappointed not to see one decorated as Dog the Bounty Hunter.
I’m going to groom a dog to look like a cat and drop it off in the Vietnamese area of town. Man, I’d love to be at dinner to see their faces.
The captions are hilarious!! Love them!! This vis clearly a new psychosis for the DSM V!
The best part about when these dogs snap and kill their owners?
Old ugly fat women taste like bacon!!!
I know a groomer who made a dog look like a pelican, but it stole her cell phone and ran away.
WTF is wrong with people? Jebus.
If these people think they are treating their pets WELL, then I guess, THANK GOODNESS THEY DID NOT HAVE KIDS. Big plus for retro-active birth control.
YUCK
This is so much fun, if anything the dogs just get more attention which they love. Pet dye is made to be safe. There are worse things for to worry about. Being a groomer more than half the dogs i see come in Matted which is negligent & to top it off owners want you to spend hours putting the dog through pain & ask you to brush it out. Surprisingly owners who do color on there pets, take very good care of the coat and it is easy to do in a normal grooming setting. No suffering at all.
It is just fun expression. Cropping ears and tails, are worse, and so are matted dogs, so give these owners a break. I love it. Who doesn’t want a panda dog? lol. It is so cute.
The karma of those owners is going to be a real bitch.
! Jesus cristo get a life!! these poor animals cant even speak for themselfs!! and i hope the products used are skin friendly!!!!
these women need to get lives. loose some weight and stop abusing these poor dogs. fat b*itches should dress themselves up, hidious women who need to abuse dogs for attention because they can’t find a partner. what a pathetic life.
Wow some of you ppl are something arn’t you. Dyeing a dog isnt cruel…everything used on these dogs is completely safe for them. Those of you who are agaisnt it probably have over weight dogs feed them scraps or foods like old roy now that is animal abuse.
o my god, what do you have lots of sick people , get a live , but let the pets be pets!!!!!!
Go to the woods! take your’e kids for it !!!!!
The dyes on these dogs is COMPLETELY SAFE!! It is NOT animal cruelty. If you want animal cruelty, try NOT grooming your dogs. These dogs LOVE the attention they get from everyone. And for those of you who say the groomers need to “get a life”, they do have a life and a stable job. What do YOU do for a living, sit in an office answering phones? At least they have FUN at work!!!
What gives you a right to steal copywritted pictures off a website, and commit slander on these women!? Not only are these women my friends and my teachers, but they have lives, they have full time jobs grooming dogs and they have feelings.
This Creative Grooming is something fun they can do with their own dogs that isn’t the every day mundane cookie cutter look or a repetitive shave a dog down with the shortest blade because someone doesn’t know how to brush their dog.
They get to be creative for once or maybe even twice a year at trade shows to show what they can do free style on their dogs or cats.
Groomer’s dogs, the dogs you see colored and creatively done are the most loved and spoiled and brushed and fussed over dogs in the world. They are our furry children.
My question is, who are you to pass judgement on what someone does with their free time when you absolutely have no knowledge whatsoever goes on a grooming table?
Stop being an online bully and realize these are hard working workers paying tax money to keep things running. They aren’t sitting pretty doing nothing all day texting on their cellphones with their dog in a stroller. These are some of the most interesting women I have gotten to know the past 3 months and I’m proud to call them my friends.
I would just like to say I own a standard poodle who is never happier then when I have him done up in something creative. We go for walks and kids flock to him and he gets more attention then a non creative dog could ever dream of getting. He LOVES it. Every one of the dyes that I and my teachers use have been tested and are safe for animals. As groomers we love our dogs and your dogs for that matter more then you ever could. We are the ones that care for them, try to get you to feed them food that isn’t crap, and cut out all of the matts that hurt them since you only bring them in once a year. It makes me so sad that you sit there and pick on the women standing behind their dogs as well. Lets see pictures of you and the people you work with (if you even work…) because I’m sure everyone has something they could work on. You obviously need to work on your attitude and finding something to make you happy in life. I really do feel sorry for you and anyone that has posted cruel comments on here, because you not only are uneducated, but you also must have something going on in your life to make you want to cut others down in an attempt to make yourself feel better. It is truly sad, and a cry for help. I hope someone in your life reaches out and gives you the love that you seem to be missing. Maybe someday you can have more of an open mind and get to know these ladies because they are some of the BEST ladies you will ever get the pleasure to spend time with!!