Lights, Camera, Fiction: 20 Videos That Define the Fanboy Phenomenon

"Honey, you go get the nachos, I don't want to miss what's next."

Once upon a time, in a Canadian suburb a few hundred or thousand miles away from you, teenager Ghyslain Raza dared to exhibit his Jedi worthiness for what he then thought would be a private video. Wielding a powerful golf ball retriever, Ghyslain whirled about, striking fear into the hearts of Sith Lords throughout this galaxy and those far, far away. And thanks to four of his d-ckhead schoolmates, that video essentially revolutionized the Internet. Forever to be known as “Star Wars Kid,” Ghyslain’s flopping and twirling and heavy breathing were immortalized on YouTube.

While Ghyslain and his family argued in court (eventually settling in private) that the release of the video had ruined his life, I call bull feces. This video has been proclaimed among the all-time greatest Internet sensations, and while it’s certainly unintentional hilarity in creation, this guy is now living with fame that people kill themselves for. I say embrace it, son. Because Tay Zonday very well could have written “Chewbacc-late Rain” and a chubby kid twirling a golf wand would be playing second fiddle on the YouTube circuits. Instead, Star Wars Kid, YOU ARE A GOD. If you need proof, follow this path of Fanboy videos that I’ve dug up as evidence.

That’s not to say or even imply that all Fanboy videos are unintentionally hilarious and humiliating. Here’s exhibit A:

This homemade light saber duel impresses me, if anything. I’m not going to run out and buy FX software for my computer so I can challenge my friends to a laser war, but I’m not going to rip these guys either. And I know they’re reading this since everyone does, and I hope they understand the reprieve I’ve just given them. They should haul ass to the nearest brothel and scream to the heavens for my rare act of kindness.

On the other hand… There are some people not so fortunate. In this case, those people compete in something called the Stormtrooper Olympics, which is held at an event known as Star Wars Celebration. I hope I got that right, because I had to look up blogs, other fan sites, and witness just all-around terrible things, man, to figure out where the hell this video came from. This footage, from Star Wars Celebration IV, show highlights of the great galactic games.

While it’s hardly extensive, I think we all get the point that people dressed as the Emperor’s armed guardsmen competed in games that include… um, throwing something? I’ll assume that was an Advair diskus. And I believe they also competed in the incredibly difficult “Knock Stuffed Toys Over with a Wiffle Ball Bat.” However, the winning team was eventually disqualified when it was learned that they had their dogs professionally groomed for the Ewok Lookalike contest.

Enough with the Star Wars people, I say. Won’t someone help me melodically change the subject?

Why thank you, random Trekkie playing the Star Trek theme on a theremin. Now that’s a talent, folks. Speaking of Star Trek, I’ve never fully appreciated the musical dedication behind the fans of the original Shatner series, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine… um, El Trek-o Del Burro, Star Trek: Laff-a-Lympics, The Search for Wesley’s Gold, Mission to Moscow, Voyager, and Enterprise. Scouring through YouTube, I found hundreds of fan songs and parodies, but I was more impressed by actual show footage. Take for instance:

That was an outtake from the Next Generation Season 5 DVD set. I have no clue what it’s for, but I’ve watched it 16 times while writing this, and I find it absolutely mesmerizing. But this is about fans and their schlocky tributes and behavior. And just when I didn’t think there was anything much goofier than the Stormtrooper Olympics, well, “Klingons in beauty pageants” about sums it all up.

And I would be doing us all a great disservice by not including this outstanding parody of pageant competitions, featuring Miss Klingon Empire herself:

The Miss Klingon Empire contest takes place annually at the DragonCon event in Atlanta. But don’t bring your hater attitude, you Toh-pah, baktag forshak-dweller. Qapla’, indeed!

Speaking of Con events, the larger parties like Miss Klingon Empire often take away from the efforts of the smaller fan. I don’t mean in size, or even stature. Some fans prefer characters that are obscure and often harder to comprehend. Like, the Marvel superhero Iceman, for instance. I suppose you could dress like a guy whose primary physical ability is creating ice, but it might be difficult to display such imagery. How do you make up for that? By rapping while Deathstroke beatboxes, of course. Don’t you know anything?

Moving right along, how about those Avatards? Countless fan sites, message boards and Facebook groups later, 20-some-odd million DVDs and Blu-Rays flying off the shelves of retail stores in ironic fashion, and these emo tree-huggers still want to pack it all up and move to Pandora. Luckily the humorists at PoolWorldWide created a YouTube channel that displays a common perspective of the average Avatar fan. First, they released the popular Live Avatar Role Playing video, which features the fictitious Na’vi People of Hometree Wisconsin. I’m more partial to this take on Chat Roulette:

This isn’t supposed to be about videos that are produced by comedy troupes with the intention of actually being funny. I’m simply using that video as an example of intended versus unintended, with the hopes that it will help you not slap your faces too hard with these next two clips of Avatar fans. First, Avatar fans freaking out before a premiere screening:

In fairness, that’s exactly how I acted the last time I got a girl naked. But this next video was tougher to select, because when I found it I was searching through hundreds of makeup tutorials to turn yourself into an Avatar. But this girl’s the real deal – painted and belting out the Avatar jams. Give us a taste of Pandora Idol, sister:

What’s that, Twilight fans? You’re feeling left out of the crazy fiesta? Well, first, here’s a clip from comedian Skyler Stone, who prides himself as a bit of a prankster (he hosted the now defunct Comedy Central prank series CON) and while this isn’t a comedy homerun, the idea’s right – Twilight fans are nuts and should not be messed with. Skyler promised a bunch of Twihards that they were getting the very first screening of New Moon a few months back. Instead he gave them a “vampire intervention.” The results were about as expected.

Again, I’m only using a professionally produced video to help establish the outside perspective. Hopefully, it will also help take the sting off of this Twilight fan’s bite:

That’s obviously rational behavior for anyone watching a movie trailer that features terrible CGI werewolves and the worst acting this side of a Van Damme movie.

Now if you’ll all hop on your brooms, let’s journey to the world of Harry Potter, and the enchantment of Quidditch, a make believe game that’s a cross between soccer and sweeping. In America, we have some of the greatest institutions of higher learning on this planet – Harvard, Yale, Princeton, DeVry. And despite the powerful educations we offer, this still happens:

However, thankfully for my overwhelming American pride, Britain’s still got the Potter cuckoo on lockdown. This is a clip from what seems to be a low budget documentary or the worst news show ever. Either way, I almost feel bad making fun of this girl, but… no I don’t.

Then again, I shouldn’t get too excited. It’s not like the states aren’t full of the same costumed maniacs. At least the World’s Biggest Harry Potter fan isn’t out waging war on her peers (although I do think she was casting a love spell on me). In Illinois, there are at least 12 chapters of an international Live Action Role Playing outfit known as Dagorhir. I’ll let the following documentary clip explain:

You see? LARPing is a sport for people who aren’t into what the mainstream considers real sports. It’s not about a bunch of people in a forest screaming, “Lightning bolt!” at each other. What’s that? Oh, I stand corrected:

That’s clearly a man who has his magical powers under control. Unfortunately, he must be a +12 Mage, while this next wizard is clearly lacking in dexterity:

Poor guy, but I, too, always think I’ve got one more in the chamber. LARPing has two general influences that we can blame – Lord of the Rings and World of Warcraft. The latter, though, often inspires its fans to stay indoors and use their imaginations in a different, much more disturbing way…

I’m sorry, I feel like I owe you for that one. That was cruel of me. To make it up to you, here’s a video of girls dressed like Princess Leia washing cars. Just think, Star Wars Kid… if it weren’t for you, these girls may have never strapped on their gold bikinis to soap up in front of a video camera for the entire world. You’re a hero, Star Wars Kid. A Kahless-forsaken hero.