You see that image? Take a good look at that image. This is probably your first introduction to David Dees: conspiracy theorist, extreme right-winger, Holocaust denier, and Photoshoppist extraordinaire. Dees is like all the right-wing extremist lunacy of the Internet was distilled down into one human being, and that human being was actually granted some pretty decent Photoshop skills and a bizarre artistic sensibility that would probably have made him a celebrated outsider artist already if it weren’t for the fact that he was convinced Hitler was framed, Obama was from Kenya, Zionists are conspiring to kill us all, and pretty much everything that exists is out to brainwash us. Yes, Dees believes EVERY conspiracy theory. And we mean EVERY conspiracy theory. Join us on a tour of Dees’ talented hands and warped brain.
Part the First: Actual, Non-Crazy Social Commentary
Before we dig deep into this man’s psyche, it’s worth noting that we’re fairly sure that Dees can actually function in the normal world and isn’t a schizophrenic or something, which means it’s OK to laugh at him. We can say this because, as shown above, he’s capable of putting together an image that doesn’t involve the Illuminati, FEMA death camps, or insisting that everything in the world really is trying to kill you. And this is also a good introduction to his work.
Dees has this consistently odd use of perspective that’s actually fairly artistically effective. Everything’s just slightly off and distorted. Not enough that it immediately leaps out, but enough that it catches your eye and instantly makes you uncomfortable. As incredible as it may sound, this guy actually has the talent to provoke thought. Granted, the above image or, say, this:
…isn’t terribly controversial. You probably saw cartoons a bit like this in your newspaper. So the guy can function and can actually make non-controversial images. But this is just the portal to the land of blithering madness that is Deesland.
Part the Second: Everything Is Trying to Kill You
Dees, as you might have guessed, as a small problem with artificial sweeteners. He seems to think it means people are being brainwashed. He’s not a fan of genetically modified food, either:
Here we start to get a taste of the crazy, but let’s be honest here: the only thing that really stands out about these, aside from Dees’ sense of the grotesque, is that they were executed with any actual talent. We’ve all seen self-righteous douchebags get pissed off that somebody, anybody, has the temerity to eat things they don’t like and don’t you understand that all food companies are evil and you should eat organic? So it’s tiresome, but not terribly new.
Similarly, here’s his take on vaccines:
Again, a little more extreme than usual, but about what you’d expect from some clueless ass-clown who only dimly understands what vaccines actually are and what they do.
But you didn’t think it stopped at food and medicine, did you? Here’s what Dees thinks of flourescent lightbulbs:
Here, we’re starting to get a sense of two things: how Dees’ use of odd perspective and grotesque imagery can combine to create an unsettling effect, and just how insane/stupid the man is. The above image literally makes no sense scientifically, but it makes a hell of a picture. But that’s just the start. You name it, he thinks it’s killing you, whether it’s cell towers:
Or jet trails:
Yes, this man is convinced that jet trails are secretly spraying chemicals all over the earth. Why? Oh, who the hell knows. Probably mind control or something. Hey, speaking of which!
Part the Third: Everything You Know, Including Common Sense, Is Wrong
Dees, being a conspiracy theorist, hates everything that disagrees with his conspiracy theories. Obviously, everyone, from the news networks to the educational system is lying to you! Lying! And teaching your children to be stupid!
And keeping dissenting opinions down!
And lying to you about the Holocaust being true!
Yeah, he thinks the Holocaust was a hoax. Which brings us to…
Part the Fourth: Anti-Semitism is OK, Because Jews Really Are Taking Over the World!
Yes, that image really does imply that the Boy Scouts are a front for the Homeland Security department, which is in turn a front for…Zionists. In fact, a huge chunk of Dees’ site is dedicated to images of Palestinians being repressed by a secret Zionist conspiracy, because that’s a lot easier to believe than decades of bad decisions and the unfortunate clash between Judaism and Islam as religions. No, a secret cabal of Jews did it.
To be fair to Dees, he does attempt to differentiate between Jews, who are just normal people, and Zionists, who are Jews trying to take over the world. And secretly run the Federal Reserve. And were behind 9/11. And framed Hitler. And faked the Holocaust. This guy literally has a photoshop depicting Holocaust deniers as superheroes and saying Hitler was framed. Not that this stops him from invoking Godwin’s Law when convenient, which results in some flat-out baffling shit like this:
So, you see, he doesn’t hate Jews, he just believes everything racists claim about them is actually true. A lot of what he seems to believe from these images comes from a book called “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion”, a lazy plagiarism of political satire that had nothing to do with the Jews in the first place. Literally, it was a find/replace job. But, to idiots, it’s practically the Holy Bible, and Dees is no exception.
But, still, let’s be fair here. It’s not like he thinks the Illuminati exist and the Bilderberg is a world controlling organization, right? Surely he doesn’t believe EVERY conspiracy?
And it’s not like he’s a raving racist in other respects, right?
Oh, sweet zombie Jesus.
Part The Fifth: Let’s All Do the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Then there are images like this. I’m assuming this is a 9/11 protest. Or something. It says “9:11 am” in the corner there. But what he’s trying to achieve is just utterly beyond anybody who isn’t on Dees’ own special wavelength that it leaves you flabbergasted.
Then there’s this:
The sensible reaction to this is “But…but…why? Why do you Photoshop this? Why is a glowing Obama dancing for a zombie Queen Elizabeth II to music on her iPod Nano? What in the seven hells of Thanagar is this?”
But it gets weirder! Here’s Vladimir Putin punching a jet flown by a bear out of the sky while Dubya looks on in approval from a Jewish jet!
Here’s Ron Paul as a snowman in front of Mount Rushmore!
Here’s the Statue of Liberty coming to taser your ass, and Dees hates tasers!
Here’s an Internet writer utterly baffled that such a thing even exists!
Part the Sixth: Conclusion
I almost feel bad for David Dees. When I was praising his use of perspective and his sense of the grotesque, I meant every word I said. There’s a distinct authorial voice here, something you don’t often see in Photoshop. Whether or not Dees, separate from any political opinion, is a good artist isn’t really in my purview, but one thing’s for sure: he’s got a distinct style.
But as far as his opinions go, well…this man must live in a bunker in the middle of nowhere with an untraceable satellite connection or something, as the rest of his gallery, which you can find here, will attest. He thinks our food is out to eat us, that we’re all controlled by secret conspiracies, and that anybody who doesn’t believe what he does must be brainwashed, especially if that person asks simple questions like “What about Occam’s Razor?” Either that or he’s just doing this to get attention and is cynically cranking out these for exposure. But somehow I doubt that. I’m afraid, deep down, that this is sincere, that he really believes this crap.
So I guess I can sum up my opinion of this bizarre outsider artist with a bad pun: Dees Nuts.
I want more like this!
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