It’s a sad fact of life that most beautiful women are dumber than a sock full of baby shit (which I carry, for protection). That’s why it’s such a pleasant surprise to hear today’s news that Jessica Biel has turned down an offer to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming Justice League of America debacle (JLA for nerds in the know).
News like this gives me hope, like the sound of a child’s laughter. Who knows, maybe some day, beautiful women will be able to resist the charms of DJ’s and Club Promoters, Entourage will get cancelled, Joe Francis will get raped to death by polar bears, and Time Warner Cable will stop running ads for Time Warner Cable that can only be seen on Time Warner Cable, the only provider in my area (Seriously, are you mocking me? What more do you fucking want from me?).
Yes, folks, it’s a brand new day. Jessica Biel, where wings take dream.
I want more like this!
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