Opening this weekend:
- Hannah Montana the Movie: You know I’ll be there. I love this little mouth-breathin retard. Isn’t it funny how Disney’s apparently run by creepy pedophiles? Who wants to get slimed!
- Observe and Report: You can read my review here. Bottom line: it’s funny, but not that great. Sort of like me in the sack.
- Dragonball: All the crappiness of Street Fighter but more geared towards kids. Filled with wire fighting, people swallowing bugs, and lines like, “Prepare to eat dirt!” Plus people riding snowmobiles with wheels and eating turkey legs. What’s not to like?
- Anvil (limited release): Sort of The Wrestler meets heavy metal, but real. As far as one-sentence pitches go, you’d have a hard time doing better than that. “Like Die Hard, with Diora Baird and Anne Hathaway going ass to ass.”
I want more like this!
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