GI Joe 2, aka GI Joe: Retaliation (sidenote: couldn’t every action movie be subtitled “retaliation?”) has a new director (Justin Bieber Never Say Never‘s Jon M. Chu stepping in for Stephen Sommers), new writers (Zombieland‘s Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese), and as this new trailer shows, basically a new cast. At least Channing Tatum actually gets to show up so he can die in the first five minutes, Marlon Wayans and Dennis Quaid must’ve been too busy (that’s why C-Tates is the Hardest Twerkin’ Man in Show Bizznasty). Anyway, after they kill off the cast of the first movie, The Rock shows up with Bruce Willis and he’s all, “I’m drivin’!” And Bruce Willis is like, “No way, kid, I’m drivin’!” and then The Rock is like, “No way, old man!” and Bruce Willis is like “I’m too old for this shit.” Then the Cobras attack and they’re all “PEW! PEW!” And then 22-year-old Government Scientist Hot Tits Houlihan (Adrianne Palicki) is all “Maybe we can reverse the polarity!”
I want more like this!
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