Bros! Dust off your dicks and go pick up Spinach from the emergency room in Chopstick’s mom’s Benz! Unstrap your 40 hands and cancel the charity slave auction, because the Hangover 3 has a trailer! You fags better sack up and watch it right now. We didn’t haze Baloney Pete to death last spring after Anchor Slosh for you to act like a bunch of pussies! I’m serious, bro, the actives are pissed.
This time around, there’s no weddings or bachelor parties, the Wolfbros are just back in Vegas to burn it to the ground, just like fat Steve when he got us disinvited to Tri-Delt’s Robin Hood party and fingerblasted that Persian skank dressed like Will Scarlett. Ken Jeong’s back again too, even though those dudes barely knew him and this seems like a crazy coincidence. And he’s acting all crazy and causing trouble again, like Gay Malaysian Steve when he fell through the skylight at Pike Tequila Formal. I told you bros we shoulda dinged that guy, but did anyone listen? No. Anyway, remember when Snotrocket’s cousin got us that mini potbelly pig and we named him Beefcake and those Pi Phi sluts painted his hoofs pink? This is just like that, except Ken Jeong has a pet turkey or some sh*t and Alan buys a giraffe. F*cking crazy, right?! It’s like where do they even sell giraffes. First a tiger, then a monkey, now a hawk and a giraffe. It’s like they’ve got the Entourage bros writing this or something. By the way, Potato’s cousin swears he got to second base with Adrien Grenier’s sister in middle school, but he’s also the biggest coke dealer in Tucson so take that with a grain of salt. Oh wait, IMDB says it’s written by Craig Mazin, that douche from the movie with the fattie. Whatever. Anyway, I’m stoked Heather Graham is back for this one. One time Skidmark caught me knocking one out to Roller Girl after Cinco De Chi-O and he tried to get pissed but I was like “flip-flop under the door, bro, do not disturb” and he couldn’t say sh*t. Anyway, this is gonna be so sick. We should mix up a batch of grandma’s and get butthoused before we go.
I want more like this!
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