As I’ve said many times, it’s not a Florida party until the Haz Mat team shows up, and it sounds like a Florida man was partying pret-tay hard recently when he crashed his car and spilled his formaldehyde. Why did he have formaldehyde? Why, he was using it as a dunking sauce for his weed, of course. This story highlights a very serious problem in this country – the need for more adequate cupholders.
A hazardous materials team was called to the scene of a formaldehyde spill in Orange County Wednesday morning.
The spill happened after a car crashed into a wall along Honour Road at about 10 a.m.
Felix Locket, of Orlando, told investigators he was mixing marijuana and formaldehyde to get high.
Investigators said the 34-year-old had stripped naked and was dancing outside his car when they arrived to investigate the crash.
Ahh yes, Naked Man and Florida Man, they’re practically kissing cousins. Now, be careful. Reading “the 34-year-old had stripped naked and was dancing outside his car when they arrived” might paint such a glorious mental picture that you overlook another important aspect of the story: it was 10 am. For you and I, it might seem crazy to get stoned on frog fumes at 10 am on a Wednesday. But to be fair to Felix, he could’ve just been trying to blow off steam on the way to perform some heart surgeries. I know that can be a stressful job.
“We seen the car had hit the wall and then there was the man, he was naked. Nothing on, I mean nothing,” said neighbor Trudy Lane. “He had the music in the car playing real loud and he was whamming, whamming on the car. Like he was beating to the sound of the music.”
So was he “whamming,” or more “wham-whamming?” Here, onomatopoeia fails. When you’re talking about a naked guy “beating to the sound of the music,” we’re going to need specifics.
Two Orange County deputies and a Florida Highway Patrol trooper were overcome by fumes and transported to a nearby hospital, along with Lockett.
“Formaldehyde, if you’ve ever smelled it from your high school biology class whatever, it’s a potent chemical. So in a close space like a car, that original trooper did get a pretty strong dose of it,” said John Mulhall with Orange County Fire Rescue. [CFNews13]
Silly cops, formaldehyde melts on your drugs, not in your lungs! One whiff of it will get you sick. But a whole bong load will have you helicoptering your wiener at a car crash. As one does.
I’d like to think he only crashed into that fence because he was trying to hit the fire hydrant.
Man tries to dunk weed in formaldehyde. Man crashes car. Man spills formaldehyde. Haz Mat team called to clean up naked man covered in formaldehyde. It’s a Florida story as old as Florida.
I want more like this!
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