You wake up. Your teenage kid is a 29-year-old cashier at Best Buy. He/she listens to really cool, really heavy metal bands like Slayer, Nile, and One Direction. 1D is a five-man hardcore piece straight outta the grittiest knocks the UK has to offer. Glenn Danzig discovered them on the X-Factor, that show where the world’s most extreme punks rock out to out-shock the world. Chaos reigns. One Direction shreds. Blood pours from the sky and your grandson’s name is Larry Stylinson. This… is the twilight zone.
The Morning Links
The Singularity is Hilarious: Some Words about ‘Her’ |FilmDrunk|
Drunk Neil Patrick Harris is the Best Neil Patrick Harris |UPROXX|
BREAKING NEWS: Cat in a Bag |UPROXX Video|
Trailer for Louis C.K.’s Upcoming Black & White Film He Made in 1998 |Warming Glow|
This Guy is Pretty Serious about His Lat Workouts |With Leather|
The B-Movies of 2014: A Gamma Squad Preview |Gamma Squad|
The Seahawks are Serving a Marshawn Lynch Burger with a Side of Skittles |Kissing Suzy Kolber|
Common – “War” |Smoking Section|
Carrie Brownstein hints at Sleater-Kinney reunion |death&taxes|
There are Still Problems with Academy Award Voting |Videogum|
7 Google Secrets You Need to See |BuzzFeed|
Everything You Need to Know to Start Watching the Pulse-Poundingest, Heartbreakingest Show on Television |Pajiba|
Farrah Abraham’s Fake Boyfriend Had a Real Girlfriend This Whole Time |The Superficial|
Michael Bay is Great Without a Teleprompter |IDLYITW|
9 Best Movies with Nude Scenes from the VHS Era |BroBible|
Planet Fitness Removes Squat Racks for Being ‘Intimidating’ Because We’re Such Pussies in America |Guyism|
Quality Graffiti Art |The Chive|
78 Famous People with Eating Disorders |Ranker| :\
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