No, this isn’t about the SNL sketches, it’s about an actual product that actually exists, FroliCat Bolt Lasers. This sign of the apocalypse beams a red dot around the room in random patterns, to drive your pets crazy. You need this. Moving your own arms is too hard. Remembering which end the light comes out of is so confusing. Now, with FroliCat Bolt Lasers, you can re-enact Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglass’s's’s scene from Entrapment IN YOUR OWN HOME!
I want to use this on my cat till she’s run so ragged she’s laying on the floor with sore sides and groaning, “Milk was a bad choice.” Did that sound perverted? Because I want it to.
That said, the award for “best laser-chasing video” still goes to Crackhead chases a laser (second video below):
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/72/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/princess-monstertruck-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/grumpy-cat-no-gif-150x146.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/starwars-hansolo-harrison-ford-han-yolo-pun-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/cat-shiatsu-massager-lolcatchillin1-150x150.gif)
LOL! The only thing funnier than cats chasing lasers is me chasing Paris Hilton down a dark alley with nothing but a butcher knife and a hard on! “I’M HERE TO COLLECT FOR THE RED CROSS, BITCH!”
It’s my understanding that you can show the same gratification to your cat if you swing it over your head like a mace for a minute or so.
This is all true.
About the only thing that oculd complete this post is a link to that “Electronic Supersonic” video…
SHAZAM!
[www.youtube.com]
OFF BLAST!
Fuck, totally missed my chance to post a Firehouse vid there…
Gravatar test post.
Come in, Gravatar. Your services are required ASAP. Over.
Gravatar, connection confirmed, much appreciated.
Now go get me some nachos. Over.
Make a laser like this one that vibrates, and my kitty will be all over it.
I wish I had an avatar
*sigh*
You can have my underwater bulldog, if you want …
Or, go to gravatar.com and upload one there, using the same email address you use here.
I’m so smart, I figured that out all by myself, with no help from RoboPanda whatsoever. Uh huh, none at all.
Hmmm, that was odd…
Grrr … where’s my fat retard avatar?
Stupid Gravatar…
Damn, I don’t have a cat or a crackhead and hobos won’t chase a laser like they will a dollar bill tied to a string. That pet torture expo does look like it’s worth a visit though.
If “Lasers! Cats! Crackheads! Friday” isn’t going to be a weekly thing, I’ll be very upset. And you wouldn’t like me when I’m upset. It’s gonna be “Tough Guys Don’t Dance” all over again.
I can’t believe you just invoked Encrapment on me.
One time I started the laser pointing down at the floor, the started moving it around, sent it over into the kitchen, up on the countertop, over to the sink, then pointed it straight into the garbage disposal, and then turned on the disposal. I didn’t have a cat at the time, but I figured a cat would pounce on the noise when the disposal turned on.
Did it work? Is it safe?
how about now?
no you two, it didn’t work. Shut up now.