I’ve always been the kind of a**hole who would open a
stroke magazine book and then immediately skip to the final page and read the very last paragraph. Hey, say what you will, but it really has saved me some precious hours of my life, while also offering a false sense of intelligence. Anyway, the point of that story is to let you know that I don’t mind a good spoiler, so be warned, after the jump we’ve got supposed Transformers 3 reveals.
C.H.U.D. is reporting that an unnamed source has spilled the beans on what the opening scene of Transformers 3 will contain. Gawd Lisa, I sure hope it starts with some kind of robot or something.
You’ve been warned:
There’s a disturbance on the Moon. A robot shaped disturbance. Scientists on Earth see this and the information gets passed up the chain of command. In the White House men in black suits are breathlessly running through the halls, and they burst into the Oval Office. The president is behind the desk, back turned to the door, looking out the window. One of the men tells the president, ‘Sir, something’s happened on the Moon!’ The president turns around.
It’s John F. Kennedy.
ZOINKS! JOHN F. KENNEDY?! Quick, somebody sound the vuvuzelas of pleasure! Really though, this kind of excitement is more hype than anything else. I mean, we are after all talking about the third installment of Micahel Bay’s SMASH! BOOM! CRASH! the movie. I’ll compare it to this: this spoiler was like getting a handjob in the passenger seat of a Miata. At first you’re like, “Alright, I’m getting a handjob!” but then you’re brought back down to Earth with the humbling reminder, “Oh wait, I’m still sitting in a Miata”. Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.