New Terminator Movie! Now Here's The Bad News…

OHHH, GOOD FOR YOU!

Back when the holders of the Terminator rights went bankrupt in hilarious fashion, we weren’t sure if we would get another Terminator film any time soon.  Then in February the rights were bought by hedge fund “Pacificor”, which sounds more like the evil corporate baddies in an urban dystopian 80s movie.  Now Hannover House and Red Bear Entertainment, two companies I don’t expect you to recognize the names of ’cause I sure as hell don’t, are developing Terminator 3000.  The budget is planned to be $70 million, with the story taking place in the same universe as the first four movies and The Sarah Conner Chronicles.

Now bend over, Abigail Mae, because here comes the gravy pipe the bad news:

• It’s going to be 3D.
• It’s going to be animated.
• They’re going to tone down the violence to get a PG-13 rating.
• I hope this is some kind of Friday the 13th prank.
• Wait, the press release is from yesterday. It’s real.
• I hate my life.

And just in case you aren’t pessimistic yet, consider this: the official website for Hannover House still has “Add a little information about yourself here. It will appear in the footer of your site” displayed at the bottom of their front page (screencap), which is totally reassuring.  This movie is going to rule so hard you guys.

[Full press release from Hannover House at MarketWatch.]