Why Is Intel's New Slogan "Crippled Inside?"

So, we all know Intel. They make fancy, expensive processors with fancy, expensive terms like “Hyperthreading” and “clock speed”. In fact, they’re so fancy and expensive, apparently now you’ve got to pay extra and download software in order to get the full functionality out of the processor that you paid an exorbitant amount of money for.

At least that’s the word from Intel and Best Buy, who now sell $50 cards to unlock the full potential of the Pentium G6951 processor. If this were 1995, we’d make a joke here about the unlock allowing the Pentium to actually perform division, but now, instead, we’ll make an EA reference, since they’re the company trying to make anybody with a used game pay them $10 for the privilege, nay, honor, of owning an EA game.

To be serious for a moment, Intel should be ashamed of this, and Best Buy should be ashamed for going along with it. Essentially, Intel has decided to experiment with selling intentionally crippled computers and exploiting people who don’t know better for an extra $50. Sure, the upgrade is modest, but it’s like Dunkin’ Donuts offering donuts guaranteed not to have had a disgruntled employee take a dump in the batter for an extra quarter.

And why? Intel’s been doing great, even in a bad economy. Last quarter, they reported the largest net income in any time in the last decade of the company’s history. Intel’s profitability helped boost the Dow recently.

We’re forced to assume Intel has major gambling debts. At least AMD’s taste for strippers and blow doesn’t interfere with its work.

[ via Engadget ]