Has Gene Simmons Ever Actually Been On The Internet?

Far be it from us to say that the guy who copyrighted the symbol of a bag with a dollar sign on it (no, really), who said “If you welcome me with open arms, I’m afraid you also have to welcome me with open legs” as if he were a Viking or something, and has a son who’s an idiot plagiarist might ever possibly be an idiot or a douchebag. After all, we don’t have to say it; it’s obvious.

But in the wake of Operation Payback, Gene’s decided to bear down pretty hard on how stupid and douchebaggy he is. A little context: Operation Payback is the hissy fit Anonymous is throwing because they think they have the right to steal music. Which they don’t, and remember kids, stealing music is not a good thing, but it’s hard to have much sympathy for the targets of their distributed denial of service attacks; RIAA, the MPAA, and the various lawyers trying to get six figure judgements handed down on somebody downloading roughly $100 worth of songs. Why a DDoS is supposed to achieve anything beyond minor annoyance to these monolithic organizations is unclear. Basically, it’s like Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber getting into a slapfight.

Anyway, Simmons was asking for it, with statements like “Make sure your brand is protected, be litigious, sue anybody – take their homes, their cars, Don’t let anybody cross that line.” Yes, because downloading “Beth” illegally totally merits financial ruin. Anyway, here’s what Simmons had to say:

Some of you may have heard a few popcorn farts re: our sites being threatened by hackers.

Our legal team and the FBI have been on the case and we have found a few, shall we say “adventurous” young people, who feel they are above the law.

And, as stated in my MIPCOM speech, we will sue their pants off.

First, they will be punished.

Second, they might find their little butts in jail, right next to someone who’s been there for years and is looking for a new girl friend.

We will soon be printing their names and pictures.

We will find you.

You cannot hide.

Stay tuned

So apparently Gene Simmons thinks he can find the people performing a DDoS (which he can’t), that Anonymous will believe the FBI (or anybody) gives a shit Gene Simmons’ website is down (which they don’t), and that he can intimidate a bunch of nerds into giving him his website back (which they won’t).

How did the threats work out for him? As of this writing, Genesimmons.com is down. We’re sure the KISS Army is deeply disappointed.

[ via ReadWriteWeb ]