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The Wonder Woman TV Pilot Script Is… Um… Yeah.

Written by RoboPanda / 02.02.11

BleedingCool snagged a copy of David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman TV pilot script and posted several spoiler-free details.  The full list is at their site, but I’ve waded through this mire taking occasional breaks to curl up into a ball and have a good cry then reward myself with ice cream.  Now I’m back with a short summary:

  • She has two alter egos plus her Wonder Woman identity (which she only brings out twice in the script).  As Diana Price she’s mousy and anonymous, and as Diana Themyscyra she’s the head of Themiscyra industries and everyone knows she’s Wonder Woman.  I’m so confused.
  • She sings along with the radio in “several scenes”, which is so much more entertaining for the audience than her busting some skulls, apparently.
  • She has a bevy of 20-something science nerds to help solve crimes, which makes total sense because, as we all know from watching TV, the best scientists are always attractive young people with no experience in their field (but they’ll have photographic memories probably so it’s cool).
  • Supposedly the phrase “You go, girl” is used.  If Diana didn’t defenestrate the person who said it I’m going to be displeased.
  • She’s still pining for the fjords Steve Trevor.
  • She “puts on her PJs for an ice-cream filled sleepover with best friend Myndi [Mayer].”

A sleepover.  With ice cream.  Hence the banner picture as well as the look on my face like David E. Kelley just kicked a Corgi.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to put on PJs and eat an entire pint of ice cream.

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20 comments
RoboPanda posted

"The Wonder Woman TV Pilot Script Is… Um… Yeah."

  1. 02.02.11 at 5:50 pm
    Jeremy

    Holy Sh*t, this sounds ridiculous. It sounds like “The Cape” with a vagina.

  2. 02.02.11 at 5:52 pm
    Hunt 00

    That script sounds very bad!!!i really prefer if they dont do the show at all

  3. 02.02.11 at 5:55 pm
    Josh

    I did not see “Shows tits” on that list.

  4. 02.02.11 at 6:03 pm
    BK

    I really have the urge to start one of those online petition things but when I mail it to NBC the pages will be all waterlogged with tears and chocolate. So basically I’d be proving them right, and I can’t have that.

  5. 02.02.11 at 11:09 pm
    Eibmoz

    It’s Ally McWonderwoman! Watch her use her vagina to slay Indiana Jones!

    I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!!!

  6. 02.03.11 at 12:44 am
    Apostate

    This….can’t be the actual script,can it? It reads even worse than I expected.

  7. 02.03.11 at 3:54 am
    Bryan

    You know what? Just re-release the Linda Carter series with new SFX. Done.

  8. 02.03.11 at 9:37 am
    September

    Wonder Woman Underoos Pajama Party! Awesome! /snark

  9. 02.03.11 at 9:57 am
    giantcowofdoom

    So my theory is Kelly was too lazy to write this and just took a couple of pages from random scripts he had lying around from every other show he has created.

    The one possibly benefit of this I could see would be William Shatner and Robert Downey Jr. showing up for unexplained 90 second cameos.

  10. 02.03.11 at 11:08 am
    Total Geek

    OK, what could save the show is if Denise Milani was wonder woman… look it up….. and you’re welcome…..

  11. 02.03.11 at 12:21 pm
    elbruce

    I guess the age of decent comic book adaptations is now officially over. Back to pure crap. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

  12. 02.03.11 at 2:26 pm
    Martin

    Weird. A lot of it sounds like the current Power Girl series except it’s missing the parts where PG kicks ass and flashes random neighbors (God, I love Palmiotti/Conner).

    As for Trevor, wasn’t he the one pining for her like a little bitch before JMS took a dump on it and then walked away because he’s a fucking dickbag?

  13. 02.03.11 at 3:41 pm
    porky1

    Martin: Sounds more like the Powerpuff Girls than Power Girl. I thought Kelley was a somewhat competent writer. I was mistaken. Head of a multinational corporation, a mousy nobody, a superhero who requires a team of “Scoobies”, and a BFF who goes to ice cream sleepovers.

    I imagine that there are “Twilight” fanfics that manage to be more epic in scope.

  14. 02.03.11 at 4:37 pm
    Martin

    And since this is Kelly, where’s the foot fetish material?

  15. 02.03.11 at 4:39 pm
    thecursor

    Urge to kill rising….

  16. 02.03.11 at 5:06 pm
    Happytim

    Sounds pretty bad.

    That said, a lot of scientists do their best work in their 20s and early 30s. By their 40s and especially 50s and up most scientists are pretty set in their ways. Science is very technology driven and as we all know in our youth we tend to deal better with changes in technology. Also, a lot of geniuses were still genuises in their teens and 20s.

  17. 02.04.11 at 4:46 am
    GuyverXT9

    And that’s how they fuck up yet another good concept.

  18. 02.04.11 at 12:46 pm
    Temmere

    I never imagined there might be a day when I would be opposed to women having a sleepover.

  19. 02.04.11 at 2:13 pm
    Hibryd

    Dear Mr. Kelly. Wonder Woman is not Ally MacBeal with superpowers. THIS is Wonder Woman:

    [thatguywiththeglasses.com]

    Please watch this (start from the 1-minute mark) and try again.

  20. 02.26.11 at 3:43 pm
    Sepher

    For the love of, the new My Little Pony cartoon gives more meaning and credit to women than this.

    No, I am not kidding.

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