
Paramount has bought the script to a sci-fi action flick from John Heffernan, the guy who penned the Oscar-winning Snakes on a Plane. It’s being produced by Mary Parent, Cale Boyter, and Brian Spink. Nothing about this seemed out of the ordinary until I spotted this:
[The script is] described as “Die Hard” on an alien spaceship [Variety]
*record scratch* Die Hard on an alien spaceship? That’s the most original idea ever! Wait, no, it’s one of the biggest movie pitch cliches in recent history:
An old story says that the pitches for many action films basically go “Die Hard on a . . .”, until one day, someone tried to pitch a movie as “Die Hard in an Office Building”. Apparently, they were unaware that the original Die Hard did take place in an office building. [TV Tropes]
The anecdote is apocryphal, and yet so plausible. All these years later (Die Hard was a hit 23 years ago), studios are still buying scripts based on the pitch “Die Hard on a ___”. That said, I’m watching the hell out of Die Hard On A Spaceship And Also There Are Snakes when it comes out.




Wait, isn’t that just The Fifth Element?
Unless they’ve got a high-pitched screaming Chris Tucker, I do not care.
I remember an episode of Entourage once in which Ari tried to pitch a movie as “Die Hard at Disneyland” and the idea was thusly swatted from his mouth. Only good thing that show ever did.
I can’t wait for the movie’s signature line:
“Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah, Motherfucker.”
That means I love you, Jack!
Die Hard, Fugitive Training Day. On a runaway bus with Harrison Ford and a load of prisoners. After the crash, Denzel and Bruce have to hunt down hunt down Tommy Lee Jones because he’s been hired by Jabba the Hutt to kill Harrison Ford as revenge for poor Greedo.
Tagline: Everyone’s too old for this shit.