A Captain Planet Movie: Are You Guys Sure About This One?

For anyone depraved enough to recall, you may remember an annoyingly eco-friendly cartoon program from the early 90s called Captain Planet and the Planeteers -or as my friends and I used to call it “that horrible cartoon with the green haired creepy dude”.

Well, apparently it’s been months since the last decent loaf tumbled out of Cartoon Network’s idea factory, so the powers that be thought it a cool idea to rehash the past and throw together a haphazard motion picture project based on the goofiest franchise they could find. As of right now, the project is set to be produced by Don Murphy and Susan Montford, the same producers from Transformers. Oh great.

Producers say that the property’s entertainment value will dovetail with a larger timeliness. “With the earthquakes, tornadoes, melting icebergs and all the other problems threatening the world right now, Earth really needs her greatest defender,” said Montford. No cast or filmmakers have been brought on board yet. [LATimes]

Her greatest defender? Hmmm, pretty sure some gentle-voiced adult who hangs out with kids all day is the last person who should be in charge of regulating Earth’s defenses. I mean, Chuck Norris sure, but Captain Planet? This is the same dude who convinces Ma-Ti that “Heart” is a worthy ring power to wield, right? Yeah, okay sure -you guys stick with your magic Cracker Jack prizes, while Chuck and I go karate chop terrorists in half. Mother Earth, pick your side.

Amazing opening credits after the jump: