Here’s something you may not know about dolphins, aside from their enormous intelligence and tendency to kill for fun (seriously: dolphins are thrillkillers); when a dolphin suffers a shark bite, it feels little pain, doesn’t lose a ton of blood, doesn’t get infected, and in fact barely even leaves a scar.
Yes, dolphins do, in fact, have a healing factor. Actually, it’s a mix of different properties that luck out. For example, dolphin blubber is loaded with organohalogens, which are great for offing microbes and other diseases. Part of the reason it doesn’t bleed out is that blood naturally moves away from the skin when they dive. The no-scars thing, on the other hand, has the explanation of “holy crap that’s awesome, but we have no idea how it works.”
See, they had that annoying dolphin on “Seaquest DSV” for a reason.
[ via the fishers of mutants at Eurekalert ]
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We’ve been preparing for the wrong goddamn apocalypse.
If you’re like me, you have canned goods and bottled water stockpiled in the back of your car and a machete by your nightstand
you’ve practiced aiming for the brain
you have fire
you have salt
shit, you even have Taoist prayer strips because
why the fuck not
right?
And
and
I keep promising myself I’m going to figure out
how to build/understand the basic properties of
an EMP
because
robots
may also very well be a problem
despite conventional wisdom
and
common sense
but I’ll be fucked
if I don’t have a clue
as to
how to
handle a
Dolphin Apocalypse.
Yeah, yeah,
we’ll all make jokes about nets
and whatnot
and they work, don’t get me wrong
but at some point they wont
and what then?
what then?
when it’s your neighborhood
and your daughter’s pregnant
and there are dolphins at your door with clipboards asking you to come with them?
What then?
Let the oceans burn
So we may live
That’s what
Harpoon those God
less bastards
until the costal sands are purple, black, and
Red
That’s what
Wrench
and cut
and crush
and rend
them
upnto
meal
That’s what.
The waves leave a clear line in the sand.
I know which side I’m on
Do you?
Drugs are fun……..
You’re goddamn right they are.