Glenn Beck Blames Michelle Obama For Blatino Spider-Man. LOL Wut?

Yesterday the

So what did Glenn Beck actually say about Spider-Man when he wasn’t busy equating murdered Norwegian children with the Hitler Youth?  The clip is below (I’m very sorry), but here’s one “are you f–king kidding me?” quote:

What I do care about is the fact that I think a lot of this stuff is being done intentionally.  What was it that Mrs. Obama said before the campaign?  Because it’s strange how so much of this seems to all be happening. Where she pointed out that we need to “change the–” [Cuts to clip of Michelle Obama talking about changing the conversation]

[...] Really?  We now have a half-black, half-Hispanic gay Spider-Man?

First off, artist Sara Pichelli was quoted by USA Today saying that a hero being black or gay might someday be considered normal, which some conspiracy theorists assumed meant the new Spider-Man must be gay. (They have awesome reading comprehension.)  Secondly, I’m going to start saying, “it’s strange how so much of this seems to all be happening” every time I’m about to make a tangent into crazy town.

Predictably, Brian Michael Bendis, Joe Quesada, and Axel Alonso all weighed in on Twitter, with Bendis calling him a maroon, Quesada saying he’s pissed at Beck, and Alonso saying, “Glenn Beck: Get your facts straight, it’s Donald Glover NOT Obama.” [More tweets at BleedingCool]  Speaking of Glover, the writer of the comic (Bendis) spoke about Glover’s influence in a long interview at Newsarama:

While this was going on, two things happened: my family life changed dramatically, and Donald Glover stood up and said, “I want to be Spider-Man.” I was like, “I would like him to be Spider-Man. Very much.” I said so publicly at the time, and that came and went. We got closer and closer and closer to working on it, and then they did that hilarious bit on Community at the beginning of last season where he got out of bed and was wearing Spider-Man pajamas, and he looked fantastic! I had already written my first issue, and I was like, “Oh, I would so like to read that book!” then I was like, “I am writing that book. That’s awesome!”

But yeah, it was totally Michelle Obama.  Somehow.

I like how adamant he is about not caring that the new Spider-Man is half-black and half-Latino . . . right before launching into a vaguely-worded (for plausible deniability) conspiracy about the First Lady controlling comic books to propagandize . . . something.  Not sure what.  But she’s black and Spider-Man’s half black now so they must totally know each other.  He’s not being racist at all.  Here, Glenn, have a cookie:

I’m not completely sure he earned that.

[Banner picture by Chris Haley.]