Are you upset over DC’s Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons-less “Before Watchmen” project? Well buck up — it could’ve been worse. Much worse. Much much f–king worse.
Apparently Kevin Smith was, at one time, in talks to work on the prequels. Yup. Thankfully Kevin Smith himself had a moment of clarity and was all “Dan…Jim…I’m not good at this comic book writing thing. Actually I’m pretty terrible. I don’t want to ruin Watchmen, so please don’t hire me.”
Shockingly Jim Lee and Dan DiDio took his advice. I guess when you’re a high-profile creator like Kevin Smith people actually listen when you tell them you’re incompetent.
So yeah, look forward to Before Watchmen — with somewhat less rape and pants-peeing than originally planned!
via Bleeding Cool




Yeah, ’cause Watchmen had no rape in it at all.
That’s why I said *somewhat* less rape. It’s still gonna be totally rapey.
That Dr. Manhattan cover might as well be subtitled “Surprise Buttsex” anyway.
To quote my wife; “Isn’t that the series where the guy had a huge blue dong? And they made a movie of it right? Cause thats pretty weird, even for comix.”
If anything, Kevin Smith’s watchmen would probably have the same amount of rape, just with one stoned dude in the corner saying “woah man, not cool”
That doesn’t sound much worse than what they are doing already when you think about it.
I liked Batman peeing his pants. Mostly because it felt like a direct shot at the Bat-God creation of Morrison.
I dunno, if I had to choose I’d take Bat-God over guy who soils his Bat-pants.
I don’t care what anybody else says, I like the idea that Batman was learning as he was going. He started off WANTING to be a badass, but was still a kid just starting his first job out of college.
One of my favorite sayings for many years has been, “Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.” That describes both wet Bat-tights and ultra-Bat-asskicking all at the same time.
Okay, let’s say, just for laughs, there’s a way to write a scene where Batman pees his pants and make it not terrible. It’s probably possible. Maybe.
That said, you have to look at the context — *where* Kevin Smith retconned that urine in — into one of the most powerful scenes in Batman’s first adventure. The scene where he puts the entire criminal underworld on notice, where his legend really begins. It turns one of the most kick-ass moments in Bat-history into a fraud — Batman doesn’t mean the sh-t he’s saying, he’s just making up scary words while he pees his pants. That wasn’t the original intent of that scene at all.
It would be like having Dirty Harry accidentally poop his pants in excitement as he stands over the bank robber at the beginning of the movie and delivers his “Do you feel lucky?” speech. It would be like John McClane giving us a “yippe-ki-yay Motherf–ker” then throwing up all over himself. Maybe you can justify both as possible or “realistic” but they sure as hell wouldn’t have improved the scenes.