The summer movie season is almost upon us, and with it, the hopes and dreams of hundreds of screenwriters, movie producers, and other hacks fall upon us. And most will be soundly rejected by audiences.
But, hell, that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with them, right? Here are five movies we’re convinced are going to be entertaining, quite possibly for all the wrong reasons.
#5) 7500
Coming August 31st
“Ghosts on a Plane”. Seriously. Not that this concept can’t be handled well: Tobe Hooper did a great episode of a show called “The Others” dealing with precisely this idea. It looks like the director, Takashi Shimizu, phones it in yet again on what will probably be a great movie if you’re drunk and with a bunch of friends who are also drunk.
#4) Red Lights
Coming July 13th
Robert DeNiro plays a psychic. By all accounts, it was one of the worst movies at Sundance, with DeNiro dealing out the ham like he was working a Vegas buffet. But, hey, it’s got Cillian Murphy and Sigourney Weaver in it, so it can’t be all bad.
#3) Snow White and the Huntsman
Coming June 1st
It’s Kristin Stewart trying to play a total badass, plus actual respected actors like Bob Hoskins and Nick Frost playing the dwarves, and probably carrying the entire movie.
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AL: VH is going to be amazing. You shut your whore mouth.
Honestly, I can take or leave most of the people involved. It’s the kind of movie where it’ll be great if they don’t lean on the central gimmick, and be excruciatingly bad if they do.
Alan Tudyk is in this, so I might actually see it in theaters rather than wait for DVD.
Red Lights got ripped apart by Sundance? Damn I saw the trailer and was interested. Hope it’s actually good.
I think Snow White will do well (box office wise) because there’s the girlie story buried under a Chris Hemsworth action flick. It feels like a date movie that the guys won’t have a problem going too. But you are right, the rest of the cast is going to have to carry the film.
If Charlize Theron gets naked and we get full frontal, all is forgiven.
I am indeed going for the Charlize but may stay for the action.
Guys you are fooling yourselves if you think it’s going to happen in this movie. Plus Kristen Stewart would invariably kill off any boner that came of a Theron frontal.
I respectfully disagree with JTRO,
Not even Constipation-Face could kill off a Charlize Theron full frontal-induced boner.
I think I just have a much lower tolerance for K-Stew. In fact, this conversation made me break up with my girlfriend today because she has long brown hair and I just couldn’t get the image of K-Stew out of my head. Only blondes from now on.
Did someone say full-frontal? I was reading something else, and I fel tit.
Did anyone else watch that “Neverland” mini-series just to see Bob Hoskins as Smee again?
Namaste! Let’s get ready for the BIG show. Coming in Dec to your street.