Yesterday’s vote, Lincoln vs. Dracula, came out heavily in favor of Lincoln. Dracula had a wide variety of powers and abilities, but each of them had drawbacks, and his weaknesses meant the Impaler would likely wind up getting impaled.
Now for a vampire a little tougher and a lot more noble: Morbius, Marvel’s favorite bloodsucker.
Sure, they’re both heroes. But we all know heroes get in a fight the first time they meet: it’s what they do. So, before they realize they have a common enemy and team up to kill him, who’d nearly kill the other?
Remember, Lincoln is mortal. Skilled, well-armed, strong, and intelligent, but mortal.
Morbius, on the other hand, is actually a lot more durable and capable than yesterday’s fight, Dracula. He’s got none of the usual vampiric weaknesses; garlic is as delicious to him as it is to us, holy items give him no problems, he can take a shower like the rest of us, and even sunlight isn’t a problem for him. He’ll get a nasty burn and that’s about it: Abraham isn’t winning this fight by chucking Morbius through a window.
Just to rub it in, Morbius has a healing factor on top of everything else. He’s hardly Wolverine; he can’t regrow limbs. But he can recover from trauma in a few hours and, provided he’s willing to become a bloodthirsty mindless freak, even minutes.
On the other hand, Morbius can’t heal limbs or organs that get removed, and Abraham’s primary weapon is an axe. That in of itself loads the deck a bit in Abraham’s favor.
What do you think? Would Morbius win, or would Abraham have him at axepoint in no time?
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/569/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/general-zod-man-of-steel-1-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gammasquadeuropareport-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gammasquadlegobatmanmovie-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/star_trek_into_darkness-150x150.png)
Linc would have him on the ropes but then those three Order of the Triad assholes from the Venture brothers would show up looking for Blackula and get in the way, allowing Morbius to escape to the nearest Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar.
Where Blade happens to be enjoying happy hour, so he just beheads him and orders some more wings.
Lincoln in 8 rounds. Morbius is all juiced up with cool vampire powers, but he’s always had some hang up about something; usually its himself hating that he’s a vampire. He’ll hesitate at the moment of truth, and thats when The Great Emancipator “frees” Morbius’s upper half from his bottom half with an axe swipe of Union supremacy.
Also to quote: “Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight till they’re burger.”
You want a real interesting vampire fight put Cassidy from Preacher up against Morbius.
Funny you should bring that up…
Cassidy would just get Morbius’ girlfriend drunk and hook up with her and call it a day while Morbius’ just cries and writes bad break up poetry.
My money is on Lincoln for this round too. Morbius is remarkably a lot like most vampires in the AL:VH book (outside of strength and hypnosis no supernatural powers or weaknesses, weakened by sunlight but can’t be killed by it) so really it should just be a standard affair for Abe.
Now if he went up against Blade on the other hand…
I’m torn about including Blade. But we’ll see.
Abe in 5
Why doesn’t he use a double sided axe? It seems much more helpful. However, cutting a head off is supposedly very hard so an axe, which has a very limited cutting edge, seems pretty ineffectual.
I think actually a single-sided axe has more heft to it, but I’m not sure of the physics.
In terms of beheading, though, you’re right: it takes a LOT of force to get through your typical neck.