Yesterday, we decided Morbius couldn’t take Honest Abe. Today, we’ve got another vampire from comics: Proinsias Cassidy, the Irish vampire.
Cassidy would seem to have a lot of advantages: he’s got super-strength, he’s vicious when cornered, and he’s fairly intelligent. Cassidy would likely show up to a fight like this with a gun. He’s also more durable than even Morbius: the only traditional weapon that kills him is sunlight, although he has slightly less of a healing factor.
But realistically? Cassidy is probably going down, and he’s going down hard.
Cassidy’s main problem is that he can’t fight. He relies on his superhuman strength and speed, but that’s not an overwhelming advantage. As we see multiple times in “Preacher”, a well-armed or simply better trained human can actually beat him senseless in a straight-up fight; Cassidy loses more fights than he wins in the course of the book. He’s been picked apart by sniper rifles, gotten the drop on by serial killers, and once he was even defeated by a cat and his own stupidity.
Furthermore, his main character trait is to be unthinking and reckless. He’s as likely to charge Lincoln with his bare fists as he is to think about his attack.
Lincoln, on the other hand, is a skilled fighter, who’s well armed and trained in vampire killing. Granted, Cassidy is tough enough, and silver tongued enough, that he might be able to avoid being killed. But it’s hard to see any situation in which everybody’s favorite Irish vampire doesn’t get the business end of an axe.
What about you? How do you think the fight would go?




i think Cassidy would lose in the fight but then hopefully Garth Ennis would be scripting the story so that Abe would still end up getting totally fucked up in a hilarious way that points out how stupid the whole premise is.
Six-Pack blunders in and vomits all over everybody.
This one’s a gimmie. Face it, Abe would only lose to Kirsten Dunst.
Abe in 3.
When you really start to think about it, there really aren’t a whole lot of vampires in pop culture that seem like they would handle someone who has spent years preparing to kill them.
Abe has to take the Irish down before Cassidy figures out all he has to do is get a hold of Abe and its all over. To do that he’s gotta fight smart and decisively; Cassidy is used to fights with non-professionals and he’ll be stymied if Abe manages to keep the fight going on his own terms. He’s also got to be mindful that the Ex-IRA has no compunction about going for the sucker punch.
Cassidy might not be the most logical sort, but even he’ll figure out (eventually) that if he can get the fight to go toe-to-toe for even a moment, the Tall Man from Illinois will literally be torn a new one. Unlike Morbius, Cassidy kills people because they piss him off more than because he’s hungry for blood. When he does fight, he fights like an animal; which could be good OR bad for Abe.
Prediction: Abe over Cassidy, unless Abe makes assumptions during the fight based upon what another vampire might do.
I don’t know: Cassidy is an animal, but Jesse thumps him at least three times in the course of the series, and he’s had no vampire-killing training.
If Garth is scripting this fight, Abe would have his ax handle up Proinsias’ arse by the first round. But he also has Arseface as his corner man, so Abe takes one look and vomits uncontrollably while Cassidy waddles up and rips off his Lincoln Log and beats him with it.
So they call it a draw and everyone goes out and gets shitfaced.