Bilbo’s Encounter With Gollum Can Easily Anchor An Entire Movie
It looks like the first movie won’t extend much beyond Bilbo’s adventures in the Misty Mountains and his first encounter with Gollum, which is fine by me. The scenes in the goblin tunnels and Bilbo’s outsmarting of Gollum are by far the best thing Tolkien ever wrote and he knew it — there’s a reason these chapters were used as the jumping off point for the entire Rings epic.
Where the hell are you going old man?
We’re Going To Get To See Where the F–k Gandalf Kept Running Off to All The Time
This annoyed me to no end as a kid — why does Gandalf keep leaving the party high and dry? Every time he left Bilbo and the dwarves alone, they’d end up almost eaten by ogres or something within minutes. Stop…wandering…off you old bastard.
Well, the good news is Jackson is using The Appendices from the back of Return of the King to help flesh The Hobbit out to three movies. A lot of The Appendices are devoted to describing what the f–k Gandalf was up to during his little disappearances. My inner 9-year-old will be very pleased to have this s–t finally explained.
Having More Room To Breathe Can Only Help the Final Third of the Story
The last third of The Hobbit always felt too abbreviated to me — suddenly we’re introduced to a bunch of humans we’re supposed to care about, then Smaug is killed out of nowhere, and in the book’s most infuriating bit of storytelling, Bilbo is knocked out and misses most of the big (kind of anti-climatic) final battle.
Hopefully the extra room afforded by a third movie will help Jackson develop the human characters and make the death of Smaug and the Battle of the Five Armies more epic.
F–k elves. To hell wizards and orcs. Dwarves are my Dungeons and Dragons race of choice, and yet they’re usually relegated to the background. The Scottish-accented comedy relief. But not in The Hobbit! This is a tale absolutely lousy with dwarves from beginning to end!
So many things are getting chopped with axes you guys — sooo many.