The Five Worst Godzilla Movies Of All-Time

Son of Godzilla

I’ve ragged on Minilla enough: The annoying blob knows what he did. No, I want to rag on this movie because it has some of the worst monster fights in the series.

It’s not that I’m opposed to Kumonga or Kamacuras, as kaiju. Insects add a little variety, and they’re not nearly as badly designed as, say, King Caesar. The problem is they’re not guys in suits, they’re puppets, so Godzilla can’t touch them.

This is a series that, at this point, was defined by two things: guys in monsters suits, and wrestling. You take both out of the equation and what you have is a slightly more interesting Horrors of Spider Island. Why didn’t they just make a bug suit?

Godzilla Vs. Megalon

Oh, right. They did.

This movie had pretty much nothing going for it. The giant robot character Jet Jaguar was created by a kid, which Toho was hoping would launch an Ultraman-esque franchise. When it became clear that wouldn’t be happening, it was retooled as a Godzilla movie, and shot in three weeks. The Godzilla costume was rushed out in a week, and it shows.

As bad as the Japanese version is, the American version was worse, since it was released with minimal cuts at first and then chopped into more and more over time. By the time Mystery Science Theater 3000 finally got their hands on it, the movie was unrecognizable.

But, hey, at least there were no iguanas.