So, Disney has bought Lucasfilm and everyone's nattering on about what this means for Star Wars and Indiana Jones, but that's not all Lucasfilm did! What about all the other random ephemera George Lucas produced? What about the Howard the Ducks and Redtails of the world? What's to be done with all that stuff?
Here are six non-Star Wars, non-Indiana Jones projects Disney needs to get working on now that they own all of George's old toys...
A New Willow Movie
This one's absolutely essential. Bob Iger or Kathleen Kennedy or whoever needs to be getting Val Kilmer and Warwick Davis on the blower right now and offering them whatever they want. Buy Val all the bison he could ever want, just make it happen.
Howard The Duck Special Edition
It's important that Disney carries on hallowed Lucasfilm traditions, and is any Lucas tradition more hallowed than needlessly going back and tampering with old films? But hey, instead of messing with Star Wars again, how about making changes to a movie that desperately needs some tampering? It's not like anything they do is going to make Howard the Duck worse. Somehow use the power of computers to insert some new Lea Thompson nude scenes or something (and uh, remove the duck nude scenes).
I really don't see what people have against this movie.
A Pixar 'The Land Before Time' Movie
If you were a kid during the 90s you love this movie. You just do. Let's just forget the 12 (yes, 12) direct-to-video sequels and get Pixar to work on a new CGI version. Don't complain about your precious artistic integrity Pixar -- you made Cars 2, we know what you're capable of.
A Labyrinth Reboot/Remake
We all liked last years Muppet remake/reboot/reimagining thing right? So let's do some more Labyrinth. Throw some Judd Apatow hanger-on in the movie if you must. Toby can be grown up now and played by Jonah Hill or something.
A LucasArts Crossover Platformer/Adventure Game
So, Disney owns Warren Spector's Junction Point studios and has them working away on the Epic Mickey games, which star all sorts of classic Disney cartoon characters. Frankly it's kind of a waste of Warren Spector's time -- he's a fine corporate mascot, but nobody really cares about Mickey Mouse. They certainly don't care about even more obscure characters like Oswald the Rabbit.
I say get Spector working on a big, lavishly budgeted adventure game/platformer starring all the classic LucasArts characters from the Monkey Island, Maniac Mansion, Sam and Max and Grim Fandango series. Throw a few sheckles to Tim Schafer and Double Fine and get them to help out.
More Ewoks!
Okay, so I guess this is Star Wars related -- but during the 80 and early 90s the Ewoks were freakin' everywhere and it all only barely tied into the greater Star Wars universe. For the most part Ewoks stuff just pretended the Empire and Rebels and whatnot didn't exist and focused on the Ewoks' eternal struggle against space Yetis.
Personally as a kid I actually preferred the Ewok TV movies to the actual Star Wars movies. Don't judge me! I was young, and Ewoks are cute and the movies weren't that bad. So yeah, more Ewoks. More TV movies, another animated series -- total Wicket overload!
Warwick Davis, you better be writing me a thank you letter now.
What about you folks? What do you want Disney to do with Lucas' more obscure projects? Is it time for a big budget remake of the Star Wars Holiday Special? Let me know in the comments.
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Blu-Ray release of The Star Wars Holiday Special. Disney has the money to secure the music rights. Goerge Lucas can try all he wants to forget his past. We won’t, and neither will Disney if they know it’ll turn a profit.
hell, just throw it in as a supplemental to a (hopefully) blu-ray release of the Original THEATRICAL trilogy. Of all the things I’ve heard around the internet in the days since this deal was made, I have not seen 1 article mentioning this, yet it’s probably something the older SW fans like myself want more than anything else.
Make it happen Disney.
Wasn’t Howard the Duck the star of the latest Marvel Zombies series? Combine a good Howard story with the retarded modern obsession with zombies and the Marvel character library Disney paid out the ass for, and it’d be a hit.
JAR JAR THE DUCK
Does anyone remember Twice Upon A Time?
[en.wikipedia.org]
Does this count as Lucasfilm, as it was produced by Lucas. Cartton Network used to run it sometimes. Great lost gem.
Cartton Network is for losers! Box Channel rules!
So yeah, Jennifer Connelly as the mother who has to guide her 19-year-old daughter (played, inevitably, by a 26-year-old) through the Goblin King’s labyrinth.
You’d probably have to get Michael Fassbender or somebody as the Goblin King, because – and I know several people who would actually hit me for saying this – David Bowie is too old. Ms Connelly, on the other hand, is not.
Ms. Connelly still being on board is my own requirement for a new Labyrinth movie
And Fassbender wouldnt have to stuff his codpeice like Bowie did. Boink!
Just CGI that shit like in Tron Legacy.
Perhaps Lily Collins as the daughter? Mrowr.
Hmmm, I’m trying to think of who could be proper Connelly successor — sorry Mattyj, Lily Collins doesn’t cut it.
All I want is a sequel to Armed and Dangerous. I need more land-shark gun madness.
Do not TOUCH Labyrinth. Gamma Squad, how could you? A) there’s too damn many remakes already, with many many more in the pipeline. And to suggest using a Judd Apatow actor? Come on, you’re better than this.
I was just being realistic — you can’t make a movie *without* a Judd Apatow guy in it these days.
There can be no Ewok-anything post-Return of the Jedi in the Star Wars Universe because it’s an established, scientific fact that the ruins of the destroyed Death Star would have fallen out of orbit and created a Endor-wide apocalypse and subsequent Ewok holocaust.
In short the only Lucasfilm properties worth anything are Star Wars and Indiana Jones (come at me Willow fans).
Oh god, duck tits. No.
Ewoks vs. Zombie Ape Space Pirates was a great film… but who is the dude on the cover it stared Mr. Wilford “Diahbeetus” Brimly
The only thing they really need to do is have Pixar do a Grim Fandango film.