Ryan Gosling, I’m sorry, Baby Goose, is currently riding a career high, thanks to Drive and the relentless sexual energy of Anna Kendrick. And now he’s up for a directorial debut, How to Catch a Monster. Usually directorial debuts are low-key dramas, or crime movies, or something else cheap. Not, however, in this case.
Described as a “fantasy noir” and currently casting, How To Catch A Monster has this as a plot description:
Set against the surreal dreamscape of a vanishing city, Billy, a single mother of two, is swept into a macabre and dark fantasy underworld while Bones, her 18-yr-old son, discovers a secret road leading to an underwater town. Both Billy and Bones must dive deep into the mystery, if their family is to survive.
Gosling wrote this, by the way, and has already cast Christina Hendricks as Billy. Apparently Baby Goose is planning to muscle Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman off their turf.
That said, there’s an opportunity for one ugly mofo to break into Hollywood. Here’s the description for Face, a major character:
A small-town trouble maker from the wrong side of the tracks. He is the constant, silent companion of the dark and sinister character, BULLY. His trademark is the unusual and distinctive appearance of his face. We are seeking actors with any type of unique and unconventional facial characteristics for this role. The more uncommon and different-looking the better. Actors with scars, birth marks are encouraged to submit.
OK, so you have to go to Detroit. But beyond that…
It’ll be interesting to see how this comes together. And hey, if nothing else, at least Gosling swung for the fences his first time at bat.
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Detroit is awesome.
I know it’s not nearly as bad as the jokes portray it, but come on, one city has to be America’s butt monkey and Baltimore still has John Waters.
Cleveland or Cincinnati. Downtown Detroit is a blast. All the stadiums are near each other, and the bar scene is a blast. But, I also worked rehabbing houses in surrounding Detroit. Robbed, shot at multiple times, crackheads running around offering to cut the grass for a dollar, and 911 being busy. I remember working on boarding up a house and a homeless guy was banging a hooker in the upstairs, then later a house was being gutted of metals in the house next door. Called 911 and it was busy where i replied, “911 Is busy?! Am I in a freaking zombie film?” Then I wrote a book about zombies. Fin.
Yeah, from what I understand, it’s really the suburbs that are the nightmare. That said, this line wouldn’t work as well with “SUBURBS OF DETROIT”.
Hahahaha! Trust me, that’s what it’s like. Going to parts of Detroit is what everyone should do on Thanksgiving. When you leave, you’re very thankful for what you have.
The suburbs aren’t bad at all. The problems mostly lie in the residential neighborhoods and on the east side. Downtown (West side) is where all the stadiums and (good) bars are at. The suburbs for the most part are fine.
Downtown is fine, yeah. The metro area is mostly fine, and the above 8 mile thing is completely legit. It’s night and day. So separations are so jarring it feels like a movie set. Oh, and if you live on a mile road? People immediately think you know Eminem. I was in Lake Tahoe on vacation and every bartender asked if I knew/met/hung out with Eminem. But my Dads partner sold him a house…and he preferred you don’t look at him and be called, “Mr. Mathers.”
I grew up in Saginaw. Moved north a bit ago, though. Had to go to Detroit frequently as a metal head; went to Harpos all the time, until I moved further north last year. The Eight Mile thing always seemed like a joke to me, there are far worse neighborhoods in the metro area. Also, I never noticed the difference. Though, I do concede that I didn’t live there, so I wasn’t looking constantly.
It’s nice that he’s looking for a legitimately weird-looking guy, instead of just using prosthetics. Baby Goose is so thoughtful.
“Interesting choice you’ve made with the cleft pallet. Can you tell me how you arrived at that decision?”
“Uh… I was born like this.”
“Yes, yes, you’re a born actor. I’m thinking the one bulging eye might be a little over the top.”
“I can’t really do anything about that–”
“Yes, you’re right, I should never mess with an actor’s method. You’re hired. How much are you normally paid?”
“A bucket of chicken heads or fish heads per day.”
“I’ll have to check the Urban Dictionary but I can have those added to your rider.”
“I’ll have to check the Urban Dictionary but I can have those added to your rider.”
It’s funny because it’s accurate.