“Why does my birth certificate say I’m 15 years older when we were kids at the same time?”
“Because Hollywood.”
Usually January is a dumping ground for movies the studios have given up on, but the excuse Paramount gave for pushing Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters to January 25th was understandable. They wanted to wait until people had already seen Jeremy Renner in The Avengers and The Bourne Legacy. Unfortunately, the green band trailer seemed a little too Van Helsing. The red band trailer was a marked improvement, hinting at something possibly campy and humorous. Now another red band trailer and two clips are still leaving us wondering if this will be campy in a good way or if will turn out to be another overproduced mess taking itself too seriously.
The trailer, clips, and a few pictures are below. In the first clip Jeremy Renner finds the same house he almost died in as a child and warns everyone not to eat the candy. In the second clip Gemma Arterton runs into a familiar looking witch, played by Famke Janssen, who may be a real-life witch because how the hell does she still look exactly the same?
More Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters pictures available at The Playlist. Interviews with the cast and B-roll footage available at Bleeding Cool.
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Gemma arterton’s mouth and breathy voice is beyond cheesy and dumb. it was the worst in the first clash of the titans movie.
They have stupid guns.
This movie SHALL NOT PASS.
Ooof definitely Van Helsing levels of taking itself to seriously and cringe worthy one liners.
Why hasn’t Famke Janssen gotten booty nekkid on film? She’s Dutch. She’s a former fashion model. She’s from Holland. She almost became A-list and then just fell short. She’s Dutch.
As someone who has lived in Holland, I can agree that fact alone should have meant that she should have shown the gods at some point.
New movie coming out (Hansel & Greael) Now what does this mean to real witches that practice their Craft. We are not evil we do not recognize Satan for he is a Christian element. We do not sacrifice animals or humans. We have a love of nature and want nothing but peace . Yet Hollywood continues with menacing movies like this. What about the kids that play violent videos and go to the nearest schools and take aim and kill innocent children and teachers. What is being done?
I went to the face book page for H#G and what I saw hurts. What do you tell the witches that are just regular people with families and hope and white picket fences and mortgages. Our children may become targets as well.
Wow this post just took a turn for the awesome!
Wow you’re a pagan or Wiccan. Dude no one is going to take this movie seriously. You might as well get pissed at Buffy the Vampire Slayer for their portrayal of Wicca.
Outside of ancient conflicts the only people who really become religious targets are people who broadcast their beliefs. Just kill your goats in secret like I do.
I’m sorry, no matter how bad it may look, Gemma Arterton in a leather corset trumps everything.
+1
Come on, Evil Twin, gotta give that a +2, unless you want to leave out the left one.
This.
Can anyone explain to me why Jeremy Renner is getting so many lead roles these days? I honestly don’t get it.