It’s Arrested Development Day. Well, the Day Before Arrested Development Day, technically, but shut up. All I can think about is Arrested Development, it being Day Before Arrested Development Day and all, and how in only a few short hours, we’ll soon be enjoying the company of Franklin and George Michael and Lindsay all over again.
That being said, here is a quilt Frank Zappa made out of women’s underwear.
Technically, a Kardashian half sister, but they all come from the same unfiltered, dirty-leaves ridden gene pool, so no difference. Anyway, Frances Bean Cobain, who’s 20 years old and now you feel ancient, tore into 17-year-old Kendall Jenner after she whined on Twitter, “Just wish things could be easier sometimes mann.”
I wouldn’t have felt bad, were it not for that extra “n.” Now I pity the English language.
Truth #1: Long fake fingernails, a bit of a no-no when you’re sticking your entire hand, y’know.
Truth #2: Speaking of, yeah, that many fingers? Probably not.
Truth #3: Putting a stiletto shoe inside someone’s body? THAT’S A DEALBREAKER, LADIES.
It’s a bombardment of truth bombs. Thank you to “Davey Wavey” for clearing up these shameful misconceptions. Your tireless work will one day result in an adult video that depicts an honest lesbian relationship, assuming the distributor can get the rights to use Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m the Only One.”
If you’re out at the local watering hole this weekend to grab a few cold ones with your friends or complete strangers, you might raise an eyebrow or two when it comes time to pay the tab. According to a recent survey by Restaurant Sciences, while the cost of beers and liquor have seen increases across the board at bars and restaurants across the U.S., the fastest-rising prices belong to none other than the low-range beers.
This spike in price is being attributed to one specific beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, so the Los Angeles Times knows exactly who is to blame for us getting less hops for our bucks…
In “Why the hell has this taken so long to happen???” news, the brothers Hanson – the same guys who brought us the infectiously obnoxious but inexplicably lovable “Mmmbop” – finally revealed their own craft beer, after having teased us all with the idea several years ago. Earlier this week, Zac, Isaac and Taylor attended the official premiere for The Hangover 3, and they surprised the people in attendance with a special batch of Mmmhops, which might just be the best named beer in history.
Imagine that Mozart and Tupac never died, and at some point along the way, they decided to collaborate on an album that was decent, I guess, but didn’t really deliver what everyone would have expected from two of the world’s greatest geniuses in their respective genres. So while all of their fans kept hoping that they’d team up again and make something bigger and better, they didn’t. To make matters worse, not only are they not collaborating, but they’ve also agreed to not team up with any other musical artists, so everyone basically loses.
I’m not really sure where I was going with that analogy, but it was the best I could come up with on a Friday evening as I try to explain just how monumental it is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have reportedly vowed to not take part in any sex scenes with other actors in any of their future movies. It’s just a really sad day for men and women alike.
Back in March, we told you about Jake Davidson, the cocky high school student who asked Kate Upton to the prom. She graciously denied his advances, and most logical people would taken the hint and dropped the “inquiring whether a gorgeous model would attend a high school dance with you” stunt. Teenage boys aren’t logical, though, and Davidson switched his attention from Upton to Nina Agdal…who laughed and threw a martini in his face.
Well this is interesting: fresh off of buying Tumblr for a cool $1.1 billion, Yahoo! is making a bid for Hulu.
Yahoo Inc has submitted a formal proposal to buy Hulu, joining a growing list of bidders for the video service owned by News Corp and Walt Disney Co, two sources with knowledge of the bid told Reuters on Friday.
As someone who once worked at Yahoo!, I think the reaction of Chris Lehmann, my former boss at Yahoo!, sums up my feelings about this perfectly…
Attention all of you people out there who are trying hard to be good at Instagram: just give it up and go back to posting dimly lit photos of the fried frog legs you had at dinner the other night, because DJ Khaled — the man perhaps most famous for randomly yelling “DJ KHALED” in tracks that feature him — is just better at Instagram than you are. Obviously. All I know is that from now whenever anyone asks who I’m on the phone with my default response will be “wit the owner of iTunes.”
With that said, a couple of quick announcements: we’ll be around this weekend, posting sporadically. Of particular note: Josh is going to binge on the new season of Arrested Development as soon as it goes live and will write up a recap/discussion post shortly thereafter that will go up at some time on Sunday. On Monday, I’m going to post my recap/discussion post on the previous night’s episode of Mad Men around noon or 1pm EST. Also, Burnsy may pop in on Monday to toss up a post or two if anything strikes his fancy. Otherwise, we’re going to try to take it a little easy this weekend, just as I’m sure a lot of you are planning to do.
With that said, have a great one.
