Stephen Colbert has fond childhood memories of Halloween. His nut allergy served to help create his most frequent costume — “Rapidly Swelling Boy,” shown above — he said last night. And so it should come as no surprise that he would choose Halloween as his signature holiday to defend against aggression. Bill O’Reilly, aka “Papa Bear,” has his “War on Christmas.” Colbert has the “War on Halloween,” which involves any and all attempts to make Halloween more health-conscious, environmentally friendly or more faith-based (“Jesusween”).
“Jesus and Halloween go together like Jesus and peanut butter…think about it — Jesus rode from the dead, he’s the original zombie,” Colbert said. “Except you eat his body. It’s true, therefore it’s not offensive.”