
In case you haven’t heard, Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy is an evangelical Christian who loves him some “Christian values.” Thus, he is not in favor of those ungodly homosexuals marrying each other. So now we’ll all be forced to consider the political implications of where we choose to eat delicious chicken whenever we crave such a thing in the future. Thanks a lot, Chick-Fil-A and Dan Cathy!
So yeah, Cathy is on record as supporting only marriage as it is “defined by the bible.” Well, as it turns out, the bible says all sorts of kooky sh*t about the marriage that people like Dan Cathy appear to conveniently overlook. Cue Jon Stewart breaking out a bible and getting right to the heart of the crazy. Hold on to your foreskin, fellas!
Additionally, Stewart opened his show by blasting the news media, particularly ABC’s Brian Ross, for their coverage of the Theater 9 shootings in Aurora, Colorado. Both parts of that segment are below…



Could we have more chicken if gay cows were allowed to marry? No. Cause gay cows cant reproduce. ITS BUSINESS.
“You’re being such an asshole that even BOSTON won’t let you in.”
Brilliant.
This is because Chick-Fil-A is secretly owned by the Yankees.
Chick-fil-a is the best fast food restaurant in the country. They could all be Nazis and I’d still go there.
I agree wholeheartedly.
^ And that is why we can’t have nice things.
Except chicken nuggets.
yeah but that’s from the OLD Testament. Totally doesn’t count.
Like the 10 Commandments???
Right, like the 10 Commandments.
“It’s not ‘Adam and Eve,’ but it’s not ‘Adam and Steve’ either!”
“Too soon to talk about it.” So really, all these gun-folk need to do is orchestrate some sort of massacre like this to occur every couple weeks. That way it’ll perpetually be too soon to talk about gun control.
Two years from now, The Newsroom won’t make that Jim Holmes/Tea Party mistake.
Ha! I do wonder how quickly that show’s gonna burn through the news of 2011 and 2012, and have to draw off more trivial stories to pad things out, or some totally made-up shit.
Cool story, bro. IDGAF about politics when I eat my food so I’m gonna keep getting Chick-Fil-A once in a long while.