America’s favorite podcaster, Marc Maron, dropped by Conan last night to discuss his new book and IFC show, so the conversation of course turned to pornography almost immediately (actually a chapter in the book is dedicated to the subject). In the first 1:30 of the clip below Maron outlines his world views on porn usage (which unsurprisingly come with a heaping of self-loathing) only for Andy Richter to deliver the funniest line in late night television last night. Seriously, watch at least that much.

If you stick around from there the three delve into a middle-aged man conversation about what a rare and exotic thing pornography was when they were kids as opposed to nowadays where it’s difficult to avoid when you’re online. The entire convo is classic Maron, with enough Conan/Richter to keep things from getting too depressing. Enjoy you pornheads…

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You know what idiots are saying today? They’re saying that American hero Charles Ramsey is the next Sweet Brown or Antoine Dodson because, like I said, they’re idiots. Charles Ramsey, unlike those other two, is getting attention for doing something pretty awesome as opposed to merely being interviewed by the media and saying something meme-able. And when Ramsey talks, he actually says important things — he’s like that uncle you have that always seems like a bit of a mess but if you actually listen to him, he has some really poignant stuff to share.

With that said, Anderson Cooper took a trip to Cleveland (as if you didn’t already think he was brave) to interview Ramsey and it’s incredible. Sure, we’re going to laugh at the way Ramsey goes off on tangents, but if you get past that you’ll hear a really heartbreaking story about a guy traumatized by the fact he lived next door to three monsters and had no clue. Now Ramsey can’t sleep and thinks he would have killed the three captors if he knew what they were up to. The seven-minute interview is hilarious, chilling, gripping, wacky, and great. I mean, the guy even says any reward money he gets should go to the victims.

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In case you hadn’t heard, the NRA held its annual gun nut convention in Houston over the weekend, and it predictably featured a laundry list of insane dolts — Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rick Perry and Ted Cruz among them — who stepped up to a podium and said of bunch of unhinged, nonsensical, contradictory things into a microphone. Naturally, Jon Stewart and the Daily Show writing staff were laying in wait, like a pack of hungry cheetahs waiting for a bloated, limping antelope to walk by, ready to pounce, and pounce they did last night.

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So let’s get the sobering stuff out of the way: three women — Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight — were missing ever since 2002. The search never stopped and they became one of the biggest news stories in *drumroll* Cleveland. Tonight, the three women escaped and ran into the arms of one of the 47 greatest men to ever live, Charles Ramsey. Read the rest of this entry »

Leave it to NBC (or a local affiliate) to turn sad news into their own personal embarrassment. As you may know by now, part of our childhoods died as one half of Kriss Kross, Chris Kelly passed away this evening. The crack team at NBC made sure they were Johnny on the spot with coverage as some editor ran into the news room and yelled, “A rapper died! Find a black guy and find one quickly! We’re going live!”

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In my play-by-play of Conan’s final show in Atlanta, I made mention of how he closed the audience-only portion by regaling us with a made up song. The fun, non-threatening reminder that the nicest guy in entertainment is better at everything than everyone else made the whole experience for me personally. You see, I know what it’s like for your musical talents to go overlooked because you have a six pack that makes Jeff Goldblum swoon (confession: I do not know what that is like).

With all that in mind I’d like to bring to everyone’s attention that Conan and The Basic Cable Band closed last night’s show with a lively good times cover of Elvis’s “Hard-Headed Woman.” I have no idea why they chose to tribute The King on Willie Nelson’s birthday — maybe the song is just one of Coco’s favorites — but it is pretty wonderful and I see no way it doesn’t improve your Wednesday.

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It’s pretty clear now that the Jason Collins media blitz has gone into full overdrive to the point where intelligent dialogue is being replaced by speculation, rambling and Karl Malone. Read the rest of this entry »

Amanda Bynes. We just can’t quit you. Just when we think you may take a break from being batsh*t crazy, you come back to show us that your brain is indeed fried. Just now, Bynes took a picture of herself in a bra (not bad, actually, if you ignore her blown glass face). Read the rest of this entry »

ESPN was in rare (or, actually, not so rare) form today. First, they derailed their entire morning of news to report on the “tragic” firing of Tim Tebow by the Jets. Then they sh*t themselves when they realized Sports Illustrated got the scoop on the first gay athlete. So naturally, panic set in and they threw an openly anti-gay, openly idiotic Chris Broussard on live television to speak his mind.

Naturally he was all (paraphrasing here), “gay people are upsetting God” and yadda yadda. So ESPN released a statement because they totally didn’t see Broussard’s comments coming:

“We regret that a respectful discussion of personal viewpoints became a distraction from today’s news. ESPN is fully committed to diversity and welcomes Jason Collins’ announcement.”

Tune in tomorrow as ESPN invites Rush Limbaugh to talk about Black quarterbacks and it’ll totally go without controversy because ESPN doesn’t like that sort of thing.

In more sane news, Metta World Peace had some incredible words about the Jason Collins revelation and they’re as poignant as anything Skip Bayless has ever said. First, this:

Then this.

Whether it’s a free country or not, you should be free to act as you want to do as long as it’s not violent. No matter what it is. I came here in a Cookie Monster shirt because I wanted to, and I was going to wear the pants. But I thought you guys were going to judge me. I was going to wear the hat too. But I thought you guys would judge me. I didn’t want Mitch [Kupchak] to judge me. So that’s why I didn’t wear the hats and the pants. But I should’ve wore it. You should be free to do and act how you want to act.

Because sometimes coming out is just like putting on Cookie Monster pants or something and we all have to put on those Cookie Monster pants one leg at a time every morning. Or something. Mr. Peace, you are a visionary.