OMG The F-Ing VMAs! Here Are The Five Most Memorable Moments

Each year, the nation gathers around their televisions on a Sunday night in late summer to collectively share a whirlwind of emotions: joy, hate, outrage, shock, self-loathing, love, revulsion, unrestrained delight — you name it. We call this event the VMAs.

About last night’s awards, I think Patton Oswalt said it best in a tweet: “I would like to thank tonight’s VMAs for helping me break my personal record for screaming, “Oh F*CK you!” at a TV.” Truer words, dear reader, have never been spoken.

Last night’s edition featured a slew of memorable moments. from Beyonce revealing that she’ll soon be giving birth to the second coming of Jesus Christ (an unborn fetus that already has a Twitter account), to Chris Brown reminding everyone that he is an insufferable twat who does unfortunately exist, to Jay-Z and Kanye’s spirited performance of “Otis,” to Lady Gaga appearing to prepare herself to vault over the proverbial shark by performing a cringe-worthy monologue in drag in which her male alter-ego — some sort of Andrew Dice Clay/John Travolta in Grease hybrid — talks about how awesome/awful she is for a few minutes.

So here are what I felt were the five most memorable moments from this year’s long national love/hate fest.

5. Will Ferrell, Jack Black and Seth Rogan — the “Beastie Boys of the Future” — bring out the Beastie Boys and Odd Future for a dance off.

4. Adele performs “Someone Like You” to remind us that she has a voice from the Gods.

3. Beyonce performs “Love On Top and reveals that she’s pregnant at the end.

2. Jay-Z and Kanye perform “Otis.”

1. Lady Gaga takes her Lady Gaga thing to the next level.