Question: Is there anything more irrelevant than the Grammys have become? Sarah Palin, maybe? VCRs? The Emmys? Why am I even writing about them? Because I feel obligated to for the benefit of you people, that’s why! See the sacrifices I make around here!
ANYWAY, here’s the main takeaways from the nominations that were announced last night: Kanye West leads all nominations with seven, and Bon Iver somehow qualified for the Best New Artist Grammy, which gets back to my insistence that the Grammys are a joke.
So here are the nominees in the categories people who read this website likely care most about…
Album of the Year:
Adele – 21
Foo Fighters – Wasting Light
Lady Gaga – Born This Way
Bruno Mars – Doo-Wops & Hooligans
Rihanna – Loud
Record of the Year:
Adele – “Rolling In The Deep”
Bon Iver – “Holocene”
Bruno Mars – “Grenade”
Mumford & Sons – “The Cave”
Katy Perry – “Firework”
Best New Artist:
The Band Perry
Bon Iver
J. Cole
Nicki Minaj
Skrillex
Song of the Year:
Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi and Fergie – “All of the Lights”
Mumford & Sons – “The Cave”
Bruno Mars – “Grenade”
Bon Iver – “Holocene”
Adele – “Rolling In The Deep”
Best Alternative Music Album:
Bon Iver – Bon Iver
Death Cab for Cutie – Codes and Keys
Foster the People – Torches
My Morning Jacket – Circuital
Radiohead – The King Of Limbs
Best Rap Album:
Jay-Z and Kanye West – Watch the Throne
Lil Wayne – Tha Carter IV
Lupe Fiasco – Lasers
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration:
Beyoncé and Andre 3000 – “Party”
DJ Khaled, Drake, Rick Ross and Lil Wayne – “I’m On One”
Dr. Dre, Eminem and Skylar Grey – “I Need a Doctor”
Rihanna and Drake – “What’s My Name?”
Kelly Rowland and Lil Wayne – “Motivation”
Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi and Fergie – “All Of The Lights”
Best Rap Performance:
Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes – “Look at Me Now”
Jay-Z and Kanye West – “Otis”
Lupe Fiasco – “The Show Goes On”
Nicki Minaj and Drake – “Moment 4 Life”
Wiz Khalifa – “Black And Yellow”
Best Rock Performance:
Coldplay – “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall”
The Decemberists – “Down By the Water”
Foo Fighters – “Walk”
Mumford & Sons – “The Cave”
Radiohead – “Lotus Flower”
Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance:
Dream Theater – “On The Backs of Angels”
Foo Fighters – “White Limo”
Mastodon – “Curl of the Burl”
Megadeth – “Public Enemy No. 1”
Sum 41 – “Blood In My Eyes”
Best Rock Album:
Jeff Beck – Rock ‘N’ Roll Party Honoring Les Paul
Foo Fighters – Wasting Light
Kings Of Leon – Come Around Sundown
Red Hot Chili Peppers – I’m With You
Wilco – The Whole Love
No Frank Ocean for Best New Artist? What about Das Racist? And no I still have no idea what the difference is between Record of the Year and the Song of the Year categories.
Also, this LSU fan should get a Grammy nomination for Best Dance Performance…
The Grammys suck, y’all, but we’re all gonna watch and bitch about them on Twitter. You know you will.
