Germans are a-flutter about statues, and a DJ priest is spreading the word of God with phat beats. Yup, it’s all about weird religious news today on Uproxx.
First up, Martin Luther, proof that all you really have to do to become famous is post one flyer in the right place. Say what you will about the father of one of the major branches of Christianity, but he sure is dead, has been for centuries, and you’d think he wouldn’t be annoying anybody except some very intolerant Catholics. And you’d be wrong!
In Marty’s hometown of Wittenberg, 800 plastic statues have popped up of him in red, green blue and black plastic. Is it some sort of art stunt? German 4Chan (VierChan?) up to some sort of cheeky monkey business? Germans just being weird? Yep, that last one, actually. While Wittenberg is renovating their big bronze statue of Catholicism’s very own Captain Hammer, Ottmar Hoerl has been tasked to replace it. Apparently he thought Luther would look better as a Smurf. Unsurprisingly, this has annoyed a few people in the town, who think this might be just a bit disrespectful. Or maybe they just don’t want the guy whose previous claim to fame was cranking out about a thousand lawn gnomes doing the Nazi salute anywhere near one of history’s most pivotal religious figures. Pick one, really.
Elsewhere in Europe, specifically Italy, you have Don Roberto Fiscer, who recently hit the news as Jesus’ own personal DJ. Roberto apparently spreads the word of Jesus two ways, by making DJ announcements that nobody listens to between tracks about how Jesus loves you, and by alternating tracks like Lady GaGa with “remixed religious music.”
For us, this raises quite a few questions, the first being why anybody in Italy listens to Lady GaGa. We’ve seen what Italian pop music is like, to them that stuff has got to be old hat. Secondly, while we’re sure he means well, we’ve got to wonder why he’s bothering trying to promote Jesus in the land that pretty much claims him as the greatest native ever. Seriously, if the Pope lives in your country, Jesus is very likely the homebody of darn near everybody, if for no other reason than the Pope has enough scary troops handy to make you want to go along with his opinions.
If he’s trying to be controversial, maybe Ottmar could hook him up with a few Martin Luther statues. We’re sure those would go over well in Italy.
- In other religious news, here’s a thief who broke into a church seventeen times to steal copper wiring and air conditioning units, and somehow got stuck in the crawlspace. Moral of the story? Don’t mess with the Jesus (Yahoo!)
- A rapist is complaining about his cellmate being too devout. Apparently he’s an atheist and finds all the prayer offensive. The jail, for some reason, isn’t taking his complaints terribly seriously. (The Sun)