Facebooking May Lead To Robbery. Can Detective Badger Handle The Case Load?

The Prague Zoo reports one of their honey badgers has escaped.  The female honey badger, named Kaca, previously gave birth to a litter of six, some of the only honey badgers bred in captivity.  The zoo describes the breed as “the most fearless animal in the world”.  I consulted Detective Badger about this fact, and he told me to place an ad for Russell Crowe’s next assistant in the Badger Labor Ledger.  Whoever applies for the job first is our Kaca.

Another fearless animal is Russell Stuart of Dymchurch, England.  He awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of his own car starting.  Realizing his car was being stolen, he ran outside naked and hopped into the passenger seat of the Peugeot 405 and said, “All right, mate? Where are we going, then?”  The thief ran away. What can we glean from this?  Detective Badger says: if someone is stealing your car, strip down to nothing and hop in there. Ladies.

A more successful theft occurred in Nashua, New Hampshire where a robbery ring used Facebook updates to find one of their more than fifty victims.  The three men saw someone mention his upcoming vacation and robbed the house while it was empty.  The police have recovered stolen property valued at more than $100,000.  Facebook released a statement saying the other 49+ burglaries have not been linked to Facebook.  Detective Badger tells me we should burn down Farmville just to be sure.  Detective Badger tells me lots of things.  Usually involving fire.

MORE NEWS

• Two people were found sleeping in a Land Rover sticking out of a golf course bunker. Police believe alcohol may have been involved. Detective Badger replies, “Ya think?” in Badgerese. (BBC)
• Meanwhile, in Australia, two brilliant alleged thieves were arrested while wrestling with a stolen five-foot-long python in a McDonald’s parking lot.  Tastes like McChicken. (NYDailyNews)
• “Art dealer convicted of forging forger’s forgeries.” We need to go deeper . . .
  A B S T R A C T I O N (Guardian)

KNOW YOUR STATS

• The PlayStation brand turned 15 last week, so here are a couple of infographics about the PlayStation and its players. (Kotaku)
• “Sex toy study creates buzz.” I see what you did there, Daily Tarheel.
• Here are the rules U.S. federal employees have to abide by under the Hatch Act when using social media. Detective Badger doesn’t follow these because he’s a loose cannon who plays by his own rules. (OhMyGov)