Advertising is a fickle mistress – when it’s successful we buy, and when it’s really successful we buy into wizardry. Take, for instance, Wonderbra’s newest ad campaign for the Full Effect bra. The company that made its fame – and fortune – by shaping women’s boobs is back with even more trickery, as Wonderbra raised a massive 3D billboard at London’s Waterloo Station. This new bra is designed to make a woman’s breasts look up to twice as large than they naturally are and I , for one, don’t care. Because seriously, there’s a gigantic 3D topless Brazilian model in England right now. That’s pretty awesome.
Not as awesome is the catfight going down between Amazon and Apple, after a new Kindle commercial attacks the iPad because it is allegedly tough to read in the daylight due to its basic backlighting, compared to the Kindle’s E-ink technology that makes it easier for hot chicks in bikinis to read at poolside. I wouldn’t know the first thing about this claim, so I think it’s rather obvious that both Amazon and Apple are going to have to send me their respective items and a girl in a bikini.
But what if we didn’t need these commercials to put ideas into our brains? I hope I didn’t make you spit out your Blue Label scotch with such an insane notion. It’s true, though. Reality TV shows have been placing products to the point that more than half of any hour-long reality show is filled with nonchalant advertising. Examples are The Biggest Loser pushing 24 Hour Fitness, American Idol pimping Coca-Cola and Jersey Shore promoting birth control.
It doesn’t stop at reality TV, either. Video game manufacturers have been slipping commercials and product endorsements into their games for years. Take the EA Sports Madden franchise, for instance. Hell, all of the sports games have Gatorade placements embedded in their action, and that’s why it’s more than likely that they’ve been leading you stock up on electrolytes. I wouldn’t know, though. I’m too busy being let down by boobs and witchcraft.
- Telenav debuts location-based advertising. Companies can use your mobile location to determine which ads to send you. Now they can sell you sunglasses in paradise, booze in night clubs, and, if you use your phone like me, toilet paper. (Mobile Burn)
- Wonderbra better hire some security for their new billboard, because some thieves in Dublin recently made off with a 12-foot ad poster at a high end lingerie store. Even worse, who’s buying lingerie for 12-foot women? (Fingal Independent)
KNOW YOUR STATS
- Women in the U.S. spent $5.7 billion on 425 million bras last year, and I successfully unhooked zero of them. Meanwhile, 80% of those women were wearing the wrong size bra and 100% of me now has a valid excuse. (Philly.com)
- Asia-Pacific’s ad market will grow 11.4% this year, higher than any other market in the world, and the region is expected to pass North America by 2014. But not if my plan for 24 Super Bowls comes to fruition! (Bloomberg)
I want more like this!
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