This Christmas Eve at Uproxx, we thought we’d take a moment to thank you, the readers, and step away from our usual repetoire of funny animals, strange people, and technology companies arguing with each other to focus on some cheerful news of generosity, charity, and other heartwarming stuff we usually cynically make fun of. And also some cross-dressing, because that’s what the holidays are all about.
First, there’s the story of Jerimy Hallsten. Jerimy, an employee of Residential Services of Northeast Minnesota, came up with a novel fundraiser for his work, which helps people with disabilities by providing foster care and in-home nursing, among things. For every $200 raised, he’d run a mile…in a pink tutu.
Fortunately for the disabled and unfortunately for Jerimy’s dignity, the fundraiser managed to collect $4000, so he had twenty miles to run in that tutu. And run them he did, making him both a newswire item and continuing a long, proud tradition of wearing women’s clothes to raise money.
Meanwhile, in Ohio, Judge Timothy McCormick of Cuyahoga County couldn’t help overhearing the pleas of a formerly homeless woman looking to get her minor felony record expunged. Judge Jose Villanueva was happy to do it, and also happy to waive the fees, but there was one roadblock: the restitution ordered for her offense. It was $57, and the woman simply didn’t have the money. And without restitution, she couldn’t get her record removed and move on with her life.
McCormick, demonstrating the kind of sensible problem-solving one rarely expects from a government employee, simply walked into the room, said “Let’s chip in”, and pulled $20 out his wallet. Public defenders Jason Haller and Juan Hernandez were happy to do the same. The woman left with a clean record, and everybody else left with a good feeling about themselves and their jobs for once.
Finally, because it’s just not a Christmas story without a marriage proposal, we bring you the story of Jonathan Nguyen and Jenny Hoang. Dating for nearly a decade, Jonathan was trying to think of the perfect way to propose to his girlfriend, and decided to do it by using Santa. He set it up so that when she took her friend’s children to see Santa at a local mall, Santa called her over. Jonathan stepped out to propose. It took the mall management and the Santa to pull it off, but Jonathan finally landed the woman of his dreams.
And so, we, the Uproxx staff, wish you, our intelligent, handsome, and devastatingly charming readers, the merriest of Christmases, the happiest of holidays, or decent face-time with the family if you’re an atheist. Man, not offending people is hard.
- Now for fun with the white stuff. Yes, we mean snow. Steve and Betty Ehlers, of Newell, Iowa, went away for a while and left their house in the care of their relative, Jim. Unfortunately, neither of them were planning on a massive blizzard nailing the area. The Ehlers’ side door blew open, and filled up their house with snow six inches deep. To stick with our heartwarming theme, Jim went in, took a few pictures, and then shoveled it all out. Good job, Jim! Hope they give you a decent present for saving all their stuff. (KTIV News)
- OK, we’re out of heartwarming stuff, let’s go for the religious. Proving yet again that the deity of your choice works in mysterious ways, or that the human brain can pick patterns out of anything, the Virgin Mary has appeared in candle wax to Mari Valenzuela of Alhambra, California. More dignified than appearing on toast, we guess. (UPI)
KNOW YOUR STATS
- In bolstering the economy news, the Christmas season has worked its magic, if a little late this year: everybody’s dropping $99 in the mall this week, on average (Gallup)
- Apparently, in the UK, the economy is giving 25% of employees in the UK a reason to drink heavily at the office Christmas party. Well, at least they’re not saying it’s their job causing them to drink heavily. (PitchEngine)