Let me just get this out of the way: I don't like weddings and do everything in my power to avoid them. (Actually, let me amend that a little...I don't like big, flashy weddings -- I'm sort of okay on small, low key weddings.) Why? Because they often inspire a range of negative emotions within me, ranging from blinding anger to heartbreaking sadness, typically because of a) the ridiculous sacrifices of time and money most weddings require (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON DESTINATION WEDDINGS!) and b) because I possess extraordinary powers of perception and empathy, I can predict with an almost frightening accuracy when a relationship is doomed to fail, and it just depresses the hell out of me, not to mention pisses me off, to attend a wedding in which I'm positive the couple will not stand the test of time.
With that said, an aspect of weddings that particularly gets under my skin is the whole wedding gift registry thing, especially when the couple is already well-established in life.
"Hey, why don't you fork over a few hundred bucks on airfare and hotel and a rental car and also a hundred bucks or so for some china we'll never use. Oh, and enjoy the cash bar!
It just infuriates me. The wedding gift registry is a tradition that dates back to a time when people married young and didn't have any money, nor a wealthy family to help them out. It was intended to be a way to help young couples of limited means get their feet off the ground with a few pots and pans and dishes, etc. It was not meant for people like Kim Kardashian to pacify her fetish for exorbitantly expensive vases. But don't think for a second that that's gonna stop the world's most famous life support system for an ass for asking for people to buy them stuff!
Yes, KK and her fiance -- NBA player Kris Humphries are getting married this coming Halloween (How fitting!) and they've registered at Geary's in Beverly Hills. So if you feel compelled to buy a gift for a rich and famous couple I'm absolutely positive won't last (She's already sexting with NFL players behind his back for Christ's sake!), I scanned their registry and selected 10 of the most ridiculous items on it for you to consider. After all, every new couple absolutely needs an $8000 vase, right?