OK, some outfit named ZUFFA, LLC has claimed copyright infringement on on all YouTube videos of this fight, so poor bastards like me have to imaginatively reconstruct it from ringside accounts. Here we go: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was booed upon entering the ring for doing a lame Junkyard Dog impression, while Chuck "Iceman" Liddell was cheered wildly by the crowd (most UFC fans are also devotees of Eugene O'Neill and love any brawler who references one of his titles). As the rules were enunciated by the referee, Jackson asked Liddell, "Is there any way we can resolve this without coming to blows?" Liddell responded, "Your comments after our last match cut me to the quick sir, I think not!" They exchanged a few punches before Jackson decapitated Liddell with a thunderous right hand. As the Iceman's limp body fell to the canvas, Rampage kicked Chuck's skull around the octagon and then played hacky sack with it. The ref stopped the fight after Jackson successfully completed an 'outside stall'.
"I was doing my thing," said the charismatic Jackson. "The right hand landed right on the jaw, right where I planned for it to go, and it was des-ti-ny."
Rampage is so charismatic that he can make people hear hyphens! Just like a supervillain. In fact, I believe Rampage is a Marvel villain. And Iceman is a Marvel superhero. Was Stan Lee behind this match? Remember when Iceman roomed with Spiderman and Firestar on Saturday morning cartoons? Mmm, Firestar. You don't need your superpower to make me hot honey. Just don't change your hair. -KD
UPDATE: Thanks to a tip from commenter Flushing Meadows, you can watch the match here. I still think my description of the action is more enthralling.
I want more like this!
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