Michelle Wie has withdrawn for the Women's U.S. Open:
Wie, who shot a first-round 82, was at 6-over through the back nine when she sent her tee shot on No. 1 into the left rough. Immediately after striking her second shot, she approached USGA personnel and walked off the course.
I can sympathize with Michelle, as I often withdraw myself after a poor stroke. It's a good thing we all know Michelle is a mature young lady, or else this would smack of spoiled brat taking her ball and going home after she realizes she can't win.
"I just kind of woke up, and it was really sore," Wie said. "But it was OK. It held up. … I tweaked it. And then after that it kind of went downhill. I don't remember hurting this much again."
Huh? You are unable to remember past recollections about present events accurately in the future? This clarifies Wie's poor performance as it's obvious she's on LSD. From her Vonnegutesque conception of the space-time continuum, I would wager she's sampling some White Fluff. Ride it out kid, and remember the talking clouds are not your friends. -KD
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