101-year-old British citizen Buster Martin plans on running in the London Marathon:
"I've said I'll attempt it, . . . I haven't said I'll complete it. If I do make it, all the better. I hadn't thought of doing it before but someone asked me and the money goes to charity so why not?" Martin, who had 17 children and returned to work at the age of 99 saying he was bored after two years of retirement, would beat the previous record for world's oldest marathon runner by eight years. "If I finish, I'll do what I always do and have a pint and a fag," he said. "People ask what is my secret but I haven't got one. They say fags and booze are bad for you — but I'm still here, aren't I?"
Just to clarify for those who have never crossed the pond, 'fags' are cigarettes. Also, when you are hitchhiking over there, it's very important to request a 'lift'. If you ask for a 'ride', the driver may incorrectly assume that you're a 'smoker' and you'll end having to ingest 'a dedicated cycle of antibiotics' a few weeks later. -KD
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