Chelsea soccer star Ashley Cole, estranged from pop-star wife Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy) following tabloid stories about his extramarital affairs with four different women, is doing what any real man would do: seeking forgiveness and cleaning up his act.
Except take that part about forgiveness and cleaning up his act, and replace it with "suing the newspapers and random sluts he nailed." Seriously — I'm not making this up — Cole admitted to having sex with all four women, but none of them asked his permission to talk about fucking him.
Cole accuses the four women of infringing his rights in a flagrant, self-serving and unilateral manner and says publication of stories about his sex life was wrongful and a breach of confidence, an infringement of his right to privacy and a misuse of private information. [...]
He is suing for damages of £200,000 over 12 stories published earlier this year alleging that he had sex with four girls but says some of the information is false and invented. But he says the question of truth or falsity is irrelevant and his alleged sexual relationships with the women should have stayed private.
Right on, Ashley. Sluts and the media are always the ones at fault. Seriously, how dare tabloids prey upon a married man who uses his fame to cheat on his beautiful wife? And the girls — how was Ashely to know that women who would go home with a married man the same night they met him would have the kind of loose morals to sell that story to the press? It's unfathomable.
Sluts and the media, man. Destroying perfectly happy marriages since Steve Guttenberg invented the printing press.
I want more like this!
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