When Hollywood studios aren’t insulting us with films based on Candyland and Where’s Waldo?, they’re making terrible sports movies about dogs that can play football and Freddie Prinze Jr. throwing like Jim Abbott’s niece. And the latest sports-related movie idea receiving a green light is the Madden Curse. That’s right, EA is making a movie about a running joke based on coincidence. Why not?
So is this film going to be professional football’s Final Destination, as some magical force stalks elite players, ending their careers in their prime? No. Not at all. Instead, it will focus on a retired video game champion. Seriously.
Specific details concerning the plot remain sketchy, but EA VP Pat O’Brien reportedly said, “The story will follow a former ‘Madden’ video game champion who is forced out of retirement just as he finds himself on the corner of the game’s cover — and subject to the curse.” (Via Switched)
Hold on, the guy comes out of retirement because for some reason EA put him on the cover of Madden? The Madden Curse involves active players who have stellar, MVP-type seasons only to be injured the next season and never play at that elite level again. So why does the guy come out of retirement? Is he afraid that he’ll break his thumbs in a freak Call of Duty accident? Perhaps the main character could spend the entire film insisting that he’ll stay retired but then unretiring. And he can text a picture of his penis to Olivia Munn. Lord knows I’d like to.
A look back at the history of the Madden Curse after the jump…
After a very promising start to his career in Minnesota, Daunte set the single season record in 2002 for fumbles and he threw 23 interceptions as Minny went 5-11. He had a huge 2004 season but then his knees were mangled in 2005 and 2006.
The centerpiece of the Greatest Show on Turf made the Madden cover in the tail end of his amazing career, so to call him the victim of the Curse is a little unfair. But he succumbed to knee problems and retired two years later.
Vick appeared on the cover, blew out his knee and missed 12 games in 2003. He made a solid return that season and moving forward, but then he apparently had some legal issues involving his pets.
Ray’s appearance was controversial as he was the first player accused of murder to have graced the cover of Madden. He wasn’t cursed as much as the previous players, but he still injured his wrist and his season was cut short in Week 15. He also had zero interceptions for the first time in his career.
The former Eagles QB had already seen his share of season-ending injuries (to be precise, he had already had two seasons cut short by injuries before 2006) but after appearing on the cover he was having a strong season (he was tied for TD passes through Week 10 with Peyton Manning at 18) until he tore his ACL.
The 2005 MVP with the Seattle Seahawks, Shaun was an unsung hero for most of his pro career with the little attention he received in the Pacific Northwest. Once the spotlight hit him, he hurt his foot and was never again effective.
Vince only missed one game in 2007, but he injured his knee in the first game of the 2008 season and missed the rest of the year. Since then, he’s been in a fight at a strip club, had some serious personal issues, and he and his coach, Jeff Fisher, presumably hate each other. Or they have an extremely odd way of expressing their mutual love and respect.
Brett appeared on the 2009 cover as a Packer and was traded soon after to the Jets. In his lone season with New York, he led the Jets to a 9-7 record, throwing for 22 TDs and 22 interceptions. Then some other stuff happened but I changed the channel.
Troy and Larry became the first duo to grace the cover after their respective remarkable Super Bowl performances. Larry played a full season, catching a career-high 13 touchdowns. Troy, on the other hand, missed a good chunk of the season with MCL and PCL injuries.
So far so good…
I want more like this!
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