Best/Worst: Christian is the Best Worst Wrestler Ever
Time for Pros and Cons, which is what they should’ve called MVP’s VIP Lounge.
Pros: Christian is now a two-time World Heavyweight Champion. He finally defeated Randy Orton, using his cunning and intelligence to manipulate an irrational, angry and borderline-mentally handicapped champion. He continues to be a part of an interesting story, whether Chris Jericho’s thing about how it’s “all just storylines” was entirely accurate or not. Christian is good at wrestling, and doesn’t ever have to wrestle at the Impact Zone again.
Cons: Christian won the World Heavyweight Championship the first time because his better, more popular friend helped him, and that’s when he was a good guy. The second time he won it because a better, more popular wrestler kicked him in the dick.
Additional con: Christian is still a WWE Diva in man form. He wears sparkly clothes, he only has a first name, his finisher takes 5 minutes to set up and his character is “catty egotist”. He is 10 deep spray tans from being Eve Torres.
Additional pro: He is really, really good at wrestling.
I don’t know. What wins out?
Best: Randy Orton is Ready for PWG
Watching Main Event Style Randy Orton break out a bunch of moves he learned watching Suicidal Dragon top tens on YouTube is always great. His over the shoulder neckbreaker would be a fantastic nearfall for Jimmy Rave. It would also work well being done to Jimmy Rave.
Best: Randy Orton is Ready for the Continental Wrestling Association
Remember that animated gif of Orton hitting Mark Henry with an RKO, then doing a cheerleader toe-touch and pumping his fist? I think Orton’s “place he goes where he hears voices” is that section of Parts Unknown where the Moondogs come from. The guy starts off as cool and calculated, then he gets madder and madder until he should be riding in a convertible with Rude Dog. Look at that face. They need to put Orton in some cut-off jeans and a tank top with surfboards on it and tell him to go for it.
I want more like this!
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