PoV: The Lingerie Basketball League - The part of me that assumes women are human beings and my equal thinks this probably shouldn’t be a thing. Watching strippers play basketball is like watching pro wrestlers act — I understand why you’re doing it, but come on, this is terrible. [Smoking Section]
The Best UFC 133 Preview You’ll See All Day - Jeremy Piven as Joe Rogan is too perfect. And speaking of wrestling, the one thing pro wrestling will always have on the UFC is video production values. MMA hype video backgrounds need more crying babies and people inaudibly chanting in Latin. I’ll get into MMA when they start effectively using Placebo in their video packages. [Cage Potato]
Phan Fighting To Break Asian Stereotypes - I guess “Shidoshi Tanaka’s kid who gets beaten up at school, gets saved by Frank Dux and then lectures him about how one day he’s gonna be great and go fight in the Kumite” isn’t an Asian stereotype. Maybe Phan should start breaking peoples’ legs and taunting his opponents with their best friends’ bandanas. [Cagewriter]
The Animated GIFs Of July: In Which Every Living Baseball Player Is Terrible - It’s true, they’re all terrible. Especially the ones who can’t throw out Jarrod Saltalamacchia. [SBN]
How To Get Body Dysmorphia: Attend The Crossfit Games - Site founder Matt Ufford stopped by yesterday to share his photo diary of the event, and I’m going to spend the next six weeks blubbering and eating ice cream in the darkness. If I could look like half of one of these people, I’d be happy. [With Leather]
The Attractive Female Celebrity’s Guide To Drafting Fantasy Running Backs - I don’t want to live in a world where people consider Ashley Tisdale hotter than Brenda Song. Come on, Zack and Cody’s mom was hotter than Ashley Tisdale. [With Leather]
The Best MMA Feud You’ll Read All Year - I’m going to start writing more stories about Russia just to use that stock header. [With Leather]
Sooners/Longhorns Rivalry Turns Into Stabbing At Applebee’s - More like Stabblebee’s, am I right? Read it now, before it’s been online too long and people googling “Longhorns suck” show up and start lecturing me about how “you’re are a moron!!” in the comments. Note: I wish I could use a King of the Hill screen grab as the header image for every story. [With Leather]
George Clooney And…Stacy Keibler? - It is so incredibly disappointing to me to see Stacy Keibler get gross-looking breast implants at this stage in her life and career. I guess you don’t get failed TV pilots with a flat chest. SMDH at you, Stacy. SMDH. [FARK|]
The Most WTF Bacon Products - I think bacon itself is the most “wtf bacon product”. I think gutting a living thing and eating its flesh after you’ve placed it in scalding-hot oil is weirder than a bacon-flavored envelope. [UGO]
35 Best Drawings Of Jon Hamm - A companion piece to the Most WTF Bacon Products. When are people going to start drawing Pete? Pete is the best character on that show. [Buzzfeed]
Can You Match The Plot Description To The Jason Statham Movie? - Ugh, no. [Pajiba]
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